Like Moths to the Flame
by Blue Whiplash
Summary: YE GODS! I UPDATE! What's sad is that all the old authors from...my time...probably aren't on to see. T.T Well, take my word for it, this story is classic. It has capture, dangerous aliens, and aliens only dangerous to your sanity. Really, it's good.READ!
1. Radios and Bishojou

More crud by me, Kith! Greeting, human reviewers! I do not own anything other than Kith and the twisted and painfully non-sensible dabblings that the characters find themselves in. Everybody following? No? Good.  
  
Read on!  
  
The stars danced in a gentle circle above Dib, who sat on his roof with a radio. Earlier he had been listening for more signs of the Irkans, but tonight his heart just wasn't in it. His science-oriented brain was dabbling in areas it had hardly had any use for; Dib was sulking about his social status.  
  
Dib was, of course, a genius, but he couldn't figure out why that made him so socially undesirable.  
  
"People should be flocking to be my friends!" he muttered to himself.  
  
"Shut up out there!" came the expected reply. Dib sighed. The only interesting thing that had happened the entire week was Zim getting hosed by a rogue drinking fountain at skool. Brian had managed to duck the spray; it was all his fault, really, but Zim was unlucky enough to be walking behind him at that moment. The Irkan had writhed in pain for a moment, and managed to run home smoking without seeing Dib. Dib wasn't actually there to see this minor victory; he had heard about it from Keef.  
  
Suddenly a spark in the sky caught Dib's eye. Fumbling for his binoculars, he was able to twist his radio on for incoming radio waves. Shakily he raised the powerful 'nocs to his face and gasped.  
  
Plain as anything he could see a tiny, blob-shaped structure heading into the Earth's atmosphere. Meteor or ship, it was news! Dib drew one hand away from the 'nocs and gently turned a knob on his radio, moving slowly to not miss anything.  
  
He didn't need to worry.  
  
A roar of engines sounded in his headphones, which, incidentally, where set on high. Gasping from the pain, Dib ripped them off and yelled down to Gaz to get up there.  
  
"You're doing it again!!" she yelled back.  
  
Dib nearly started to call her up again, but decided against it. If she wouldn't come up, she didn't deserve to know.  
  
For about a minute and a half Dib tracked the ship across the sky, and concluded it would land in his general vicinity. Then, all of a sudden, it blinked out of sight.  
  
"Damn!" exclaimed Dib rather angrily. "Well...I could just wait for skool tomorrow, actually. Most aliens do tend to show up there. And besides, I can always find a way to dig the information out of Zim...." He looked across his shoulder, where, several blocks away, the light of the Irkan's house glowed....  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"GIR!! Come quickly!" Zim pounded his fists on the console of his computer. On the monitor was a heat-sensor view of an X-class Voot Runner, designated to high ranking Invaders and soldiers; assassins, important veterans, widows, and the like.  
  
"Gir!! Where are you?!"  
  
The little SIR slid down a tube and popped out, clutching a plush bee as if its life depended on it. ((Which it might very well have; I guess we'll never know.))  
  
Gir saluted the seething Zim.  
  
"Yes, my lord!"  
  
"Gir, scan the surrounding area for any Irkan life signs. If and when you sight one, report to me immediately."  
  
"Yes, my lord!" With that out of the way, Gir sat down on the floor and pulled a moose toy out of its head, and then proceeded to make the bee and moose duke it out.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*The next day at skool~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
After checking his locker for cameras or stuff like that, Dib tracked down Zim in the halls.  
  
"So, Zim!" he said, sidling up behind his nemesis. "Didja hear anything...out of the ordinary...on the radio last night? Or the TV? Anything...interesting?"  
  
Zim narrowed his eyes at Dib. "What makes you think anything on your pathetic human television would interest Zim?" Then, as if by magick, he realized that Dib was referring to the SPECIAL TV. He allowed himself a small grin before turning back to Dib.  
  
"Why, I'm surprised your sensors picked it up at all, Earth-stink!" he said somewhat quietly. "It was another...are ya ready for this? it was another ALIEN!!"  
  
Dib's eyes widened as he caught the whispered words. "Really!?" he asked stoopidly.  
  
"Of course!!" replied Zim, with an evil smirk on his green little face. "Maybe you should go investigate, and look for any of my Invader friends!"  
  
Dib gave Zim a weird look, and went to sit down in his desk. Zim remained out side in the hall.  
  
"Yes," he murmured to himself triumphantly, "Go and investigate! I'm sure that whoever it is will have no qualms about destroying you for me!!"  
  
At this point, Zim realized that he was no longer whispering. He was in his 'I'll-rule-you-all-with-an-iron-fist!' pose, and to top it off everyone within forty feet of him was staring silently in his direction.  
  
"He's yelling to himself again," Brian whispered loudly to Zita.  
  
Zim coughed embarassedly ((A/N: is that a word? It is now)) and went to take his seat.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------  
  
Late that night Dib snuck out of the house to find the crash site. Actually, it was more like he just walked out the door and yelled to Gaz that he would either prove to the world aliens existed or be blown up.  
  
"I hope you do!!" she screeched back at him. Dib wasn't sure which one she meant.  
  
Halfway down the block, Dib came into view of Zim's base, still a ways away. To his astonishment, there was another house like it, two houses down!  
  
"Only Zim's actually looks like an alien's house," pondered Dib. "This one looks almost like...normal!"  
  
The house in question was a tannish color, with wrought iron gates waist- high, and it was actually square in shape.... "Or at least not tilting, like Zim's." thought Dib.  
  
Staying in the shadows, Dib ran sneakily up to the new house...thing. From behind a tree across the street, he pulled out a tiny camera and flicked it on.  
  
"October 16th, 2002. I'm at the site of yet another alien invasion, apparently the same species as Zim. In my opinion, I--AHHHHH!!" Dib's surveillance was interrupted as something sniffed his leg.  
  
"MiKi, leave that alone! You have no idea where that's been!"  
  
Dib jumped up, ready to throw an insult right back at that--that beautiful girl....  
  
She was wearing a maroon shirt that hung down below her waist, and said 'NNY' on it. Her shoulder-length hair was black on top, and gradually grew light as it went down. Her black trench came to her knees and had patches on the shoulders: one was an embroidered 'K' and on the other was an Irkan symbol.  
  
Wait--an Irkan symbol.  
  
Hey! An Irkan symbol!  
  
"AHHH!!" Dib leapt back from the girl and stood pointing and shivering and gasping.  
  
"You're one of-- of them!!"  
  
The dog at the end of the girl's leash growled at Dib.  
  
"MiKi, sit." The dog sat down.  
  
"Where did you get those patches?" Dib gasped.  
  
"I don't believe that's any of your business," she replied coldly. Her purple eyes flashed in annoyance.  
  
"But," stammered Dib, "Your house looks like Zim's!"  
  
A shadow crossed the girl's face. "Zim," she murmured.  
  
Dib looked up hopefully. "You know him?" he asked.  
  
"Know him?!" she yelled. "I have been sentenced to life with him!!" Then, as she realized she had dropped her guard, she turned on her heel and marched into her house. Some one greeted her at the door, but she just shoved past them and slammed the door on their hand.  
  
Dib stared after her for a moment, and then made up his mind to take action. He ordered a pizza.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*15 minutes later*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Here. Thank you for eating Bloaty's Pizza."  
  
Dib took the pizza and walked up to Zim's house. The gnomes turned to look at him. Quickly Dib knocked quietly on the door. Gir opened it.  
  
"I'll give you this pizza if you let me talk to your master." he said cajolingly.  
  
"Hmmm...okay!" The SIR took the pizza and dragged Dib through the door. The laser fire from four gnomes hit against the door.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Master, the human with the big head wants to talk to you, just talk."  
  
"You let him in?! We don't want to let him in!!"  
  
"He want to talk about our neighbor."  
  
Zim stopped his ranting. "Our...neighbor?"  
  
"Mmmmyep."  
  
Zim stepped into an elevator thing and zoomed upstairs.  
  
When he came flying out of the trashcan, Dib turned to look at him. To his utmost surprise, Zim had not bothered with his pathetic disguise. He stood, in all his alien glory, glaring at Dib.  
  
"What neighbor do you speak of, Dib-monkey?" he demanded.  
  
With out saying a word, Dib popped his surveillance disk into the DVD slot.  
  
"October 16th, 2002. I am at the site of yet another alien invasion, apparently the same species as Zim," said the TV. Zim stared hard at the house on the screen.  
  
"Definitely Irkan technology," he muttered to himself. When the camera focused on the new girl, Zim shrieked and jumped on top of the couch.  
  
Dib laughed and smirked at Zim.  
  
"You know her, I presume."  
  
Zim's green face was minty pale. ((A/N: Mmm...minty....)) His bug eyes were open three inches further than eyes should ever open.  
  
"Know her!" her screamed. "That's Invader Kith!"  
  
"Am I supposed to know who that is?" asked Dib dryly.  
  
Zim glared down at Dib from his perch on top of the couch. "She is one of the most revered assassins in the Irkan Empire. That's the only reason she ever became well-known."  
  
"And why is that so unheard of?" questioned Dib.  
  
"Because she's shorter than I am!!"  
  
Dib stared blankly at Zim while Gir rolled around on the floor scraffing.  
  
"And?"  
  
"ARGH!! Kith is shorter than I am! Meaning that by all rights I should be a higher rank than she is!!"  
  
DING DONG  
  
Zim stared dumbly at the door. "Huh? Who uses the door bell?"  
  
Gir ran to open the door.  
  
Standing at the door was Kith. Beside her was a silver-and-chrome SIR.  
  
((A/N: Psag!!)) Zim squealed and jumped into the trashcan, leaving Dib to deal with Kith.  
  
She cocked an eyebrow at the trashcan. "That's one way to do it, I suppose...." Then she turned her attention back to Dib. "What are you doing here, Earthenoid? I require a talk with Zim."  
  
Dib nodded mutely and pointed at the trashcan. As Kith stepped over to go in, a flurry of red and green erupted out in her face. Zim landed neatly on the couch, hands on his hips, disguise in place.  
  
"I am ZIM!! Now, what do you want with the amazing me?" he demanded.  
  
The girl sighed and shook her head. "Still referring to yourself in the third person?" she asked in a tired voice. "No, never mind. I need to talk to you, by order of the Tallest." She looked pointedly at Dib. "You can leave now."  
  
"Nuh-uh! You couldn't get me out of here for all the--"  
  
THUMP  
  
"--stars in the Andromeda galaxy," he finished, sitting outside on the doorstep. Confused, he looked around. They had dropped him out the door. Jumping up and dodging the gnomes, Dib ran home as fast as he could.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Once at home, Dib frantically set up his radio/high-powered listener-thing. Carefully he tuned it in until Zim's voice could be heard.  
  
"--and I WILL NOT tolerate having to share my conquest with you!!"  
  
"Do you POSSIBLY think I WANT to be here? You height exceeds your intelligence!!"  
  
"I--hey! Wait a second--you're here for my bee, aren't you?!"  
  
"No. I'm not here for your bee. I want my Invader status back, and the only way to do that is to conquer the planet I was sentenced to!!" The voice of Kith grew sweet and cajoling. "There is a Megadoomer in it for you if you help...."  
  
Silence for a moment. Dib strained to hear. Finally he heard a low chuckle.  
  
"Yes, I know what you're thinking. No, I really do! I know you're gonna help me...you know why the Tallest sent you here, don't you?" Kith asked rather evilly.  
  
"They knew I was a worthy and trusted Invader worthy of a secret planet worthy of conquest!"  
  
"Heh heh heh...I'm going to let you think that....Hey. Did you know that we're being listened to?"  
  
"WHAT!?"  
  
"Yeah, I hear the big-headed human's thoughts, and he's listening to the whole conversation."  
  
Dib bolted upright. He switched the radio off and pulled out the recording disk. In an instant he and the radio were safely inside, and the disk was hidden safely away.  
  
"Gaz! GAZ!! IwaslisteningtoZimontheradioandthere'sanotheralienwho'sanassassinandthey'reg onnadestroythe-EarthunlessIdosomething!"  
  
His sister looked at him and cracked a knuckle.  
  
"You're doing that TALKING thing again, you know."  
  
Dib kicked the coffee table in exasperation. "Why does no one listen to me?!" Then he sighed. Only one thing to do.  
  
Dib ran to his room and pulled out a padded envelope. He slipped the audio disk and a videotape in, then sat down to write a letter.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Next day at skool~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Class. Today we have yet another helpless soul to add to the grossly overpopulated population of this classroom. Say hi to Kit."  
  
Nobody said anything. Zim smirked and drummed his fingers on his desk. Dib looked around in a panic. He raised a hand. Mrs. Bitters called on him.  
  
"Are you--"  
  
"No, I'm not an alien, Dib," smiled 'Kit.' "But if you happen to see Bigfoot, tell him I said hi."  
  
Everyone jeered and laughed at Dib, who slouched in his desk and frowned.  
  
"Everybody shut up!" yelled Mrs. Bitters. "Kit, take your seat."  
  
Zim hooked a leg behind Zita's chair and yanked it out from under her, gesturing for Kith to sit behind him. She shook her head, and he seemed to understand her. Instead, she walked up to Rob and bent down next to his ear. He nodded slowly and stood up, taking his stuff. In a trance, he walked to the back of the room and took a seat next to Willy. Kith sat down and smiled sweetly at Dib, who was thrashing in his seat. He looked over at Zim, who smiled evilly and held up a picture. Drawn in a sloppy hand on the paper was a picture of Dib lying on the ground drooling, while Zim and Kith stood on top of him, out of disguise, laughing. The Irkan flag of conquest was speared through his head. Dib clenched his fists and resolved to get even with them at lunch.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Lunch*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"This is called Glue. The humans serve it as nutrients," Zim explained to Kith. She nodded understandingly, and sniffed distastefully at her tray.  
  
After poking their meals for several minutes, Zim and Kith threw their trays away and went outside. Dib followed stealthily.  
  
As the Irkans sat on a bench discussing blue prints, they were interrupted by a shout. In the same instant they looked up, Dib shot a stream of water at them from a hose. Zim immediately proceeded to roll around on the ground shrieking as Kith hurriedly ran to the bathroom, also smoking. Dib laughed and dropped the hose. Slowly he sauntered over to the moaning alien. As Zim stood up, shaking a bit, Dib pulled out a squirt gun and held it to Zim's forehead. Just before he pulled the trigger, a whisp of conversation drifted past his ear.  
  
"And that new kid Kith ran in, and guess what? She was sparking!"  
  
"What do you mean?" said another voice.  
  
"Like she was some kind of alien whose disguise is some sort of water- sensitive hologram that reacts negatively to water," the first voice replied.  
  
"Heh! Like that could ever happen!" said the second voice with a laugh.  
  
"Yeah, I know. Stoopid!" agreed the first girl.  
  
Dib turned around and discovered that his quarry had escaped him. He allowed himself another laugh. It didn't matter. Oh no. It fit into his new plan perfectly.  
  
'K! Done with chapter 2! Oh, I'm--  
  
((MiKi interrupts)) --dancin' like a monkey!?  
  
NOOO!!! I'm not dancin', like a monkey or otherwise! I was going to say I was proud!  
  
MiKi: Ohhh.... 


	2. Capture! Rescue! Moose!

Part Two  
  
I HATE THIS COMPUTER!! This is the fourth time I have had to write this chapter. Hmph. IDOIZJK.  
  
"I will destroy that infernal Dib-monkey!!" Zim pounded his small fists on the keys of his computer, earning a disgruntled snort from the speakers. "How dare he humiliate Zim so!"  
  
Kith sat in a chair somewhat behind him, carefully wielding a micro-sized blowtorch from her I.U.P, tinkering with a small flat device. Zim spun around, annoyed that he wasn't extracting the expected amount of sympathy.. "What is that? You've been working with it since you got here!"  
  
Kith rubbed her dark lavender eyes and stood up. "It's the device I use for a disguise, a hologram transmitter. When Dib sprayed us with the water, it screwed up the internal wiring on it. " She was immediately knocked off her feet by Gir, who seemed to be engaged in a conversation with himself. He was emitting an awful screamy, laughy sound. ((A/N: For use in this story, I'm going to call this phenomenon 'scraffing,' okay?))  
  
Kith cocked an eye at the SIR as she climbed to her feet. "Is it always so stoopid?"  
  
From the computer came the sound of rapid typing, spaced fairly evenly by the computer muttering advice. Without turning around, Zim answered, "It's not stoopid, it's advanced!"  
  
"Gee, I hope MY SIR doesn't ever become THAT advanced."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
From the base-to-kitchen elevator, Kith heard a high-pitched voice screaming about pizza. She laughed quietly to herself. "Yeah--advanced." Then she realized that Gir, the deranged one, was sitting quietly on the floor next to Zim, busy eating a bag of unpopped Poop-Korn. She winced and took a deep breath.  
  
"Don't let it be MiKi, don't let it be MiKi, don't let it be MiKi--" she turned around and fell out of her chair. MiKi, the latest in Irkan SIR technology, was completely covered in bubble gum. What's more, she was stuffing a revolting looking Bloaty's pizza into her mouth. All of the black on her frame, the chest plate, joints, and eyes, had turned purple. Gir jumped up, and, spraying Poop-Korn from his mouth, tackled MiKi, demanding 'scraffily' that she share the pizza.  
  
Kith stormed up to Zim, an interesting spectacle, seeing as how she was only tall enough to look at his chin. "What did you do to my SIR, insignificant excuse for an invader!?!" she screamed, startling the scuffling SIRs.  
  
Zim finished typing in a string of numbers.  
  
"I didn't do anything to her."  
  
Kith looked at the computer and grimaced. "Computer, show any signs of data transference into my SIR."  
  
"Hey! You aren't authorized to do that!"  
  
"Stuff it, Zim."  
  
The screen of the computer filled with the downloaded information. Gir walked up to stand beside the seething Kith. "I made a new friend!"  
  
"You... you did what?"  
  
"I made a friend!" Gir smiled stoopidly at Kith, oblivious to the danger he was placing himself in. Kith decided to vent her anger on Zim.  
  
"Your incompetent SIR unit has utterly destroyed mine!!"  
  
"I wasn't doing anything!! I was at skool with you all day!!" Zim frantacally defended himself. To have an assassin mad at him was not on his wish list.  
  
"I love this show!"  
  
Both Irkans looked over at Gir, sitting in front of the TV wall. Playing on about four of the screens was Mysterious Mysteries. The spokesman was telling everyone about tonight's feature.  
  
"Tonight, we had nothing to show, so we decided to bring out some kid's surveillance cameras! Please welcome Dib, and his exclusive footage of aliens!"  
  
Zim walked over to the TVs. On the screen Dib was grinning and waving to the audience, who seemed about as lackluster as old cheese. "Tonight," began Dib, "I have brought in some audio and video footage of two real live aliens, who have come to conquer Earth!"  
  
Crickets chirped in the audience. Zim felt his blood run cold. Urgently he turned to Kith. "The Dib is going to get us killed! We have to go down and stop him! We'll take your Voot." He slipped into a dream sequence of himself lying on the government autopsy table.  
  
"MY Voot?! What's wrong with your Voot?"  
  
"I always wanted to drive an X-class...."  
  
"((sigh)) Fine. Put your eyes in."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~At Mysterious Mysteries*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Really?" said the stoopid perky announcer guy. "And how many times have you effortlessly foiled this Zim's pots to destroy the planet?"  
  
"Oh, about ten or twelve by now, I'd say," answered Dib airily.  
  
"Well, that's just great. Hey, all you paranormal kids out there, we have some surprise guests that want to ask Dib some questions!"  
  
Dib sat up and looked around frantically. "What?! No! Is one of them green?!"  
  
Much to Dib's dismay, Zim and Kith came striding out through the curtains, waving hesitantly at the crowd. Kith smiled evilly at Dib and took a seat next to him.  
  
"Hello...kids. My name is...Kit."  
  
"And I am the mighty Z--"  
  
"Jim," interrupted 'Kit.' "His name is Jim." She glared at Zim.  
  
"Don't you see?!" cried Dib. "These are the aliens!! Except that one," and he pointed to Kit, "Has a much better disguise than Zim!"  
  
The anchor leaned over the hold the microphone in front of Zim. "Why are you so hideously green?"  
  
Zim tried to look innocent and sad. "It's a skin condition...."  
  
"You don't all actually believe he's a real human, do you!?" Dib shrieked frantically. He leapt up, brandishing a pen. "I'll show you all!!" He ran toward Zim, yelling a war cry. Kith smirked and placed a nicely booted foot in his way--and poor Dib fell faster than a burnt-out Voot. Kith jumped down and sat on him, because Dib was still trying to attack Zim. It was a struggle for her though, seeing as how Dib had seven inches and several pounds on her. After a moment's thought, Zim jumped down and helped her, detaining him long enough for a stagehand to run and get Dib's personal straight-jacket, the one embroidered with a big 'D' on it.  
  
Once Dib was adequately subdued, he calmly asked if someone would go and get his tape. "I'll show every last one of you that those two are really aliens!"  
  
Kith jumped up and smiled sweetly. "I'd be glad to go and get it for you, Dib."  
  
As she ran backstage, Dib frantically twisted around in his chair, trying to see where she went. "NOOOO!!! Don't let her get it!! Keep it away from her!! She's one of them; she'll ruin it!!" From backstage a dull thump could be heard, and a moment later Kith ran out with a tape.  
  
"Is this it, Dib?" she asked, holding it up for him to see.  
  
Dib frowned. It seemed to be the right tape, but that was no reason to trust an alien--let alone an alien assassin.  
  
Grudgingly he nodded. She handed it to the anchor, who put it in the slot. Dib saw a flash of purple from the corner of his eye--when he turned around, the only purple things were Kith's eyes, looking calmly back at him. He shivered.  
  
The video began to play, and Dib leaned forward expectantly.  
  
However, he quickly decided that he'd rather watch anything besides this. He would die for this--painfully.  
  
On the screen, Gaz was learning to walk. Dib remembered taking this video himself, so they could send it to Dad. She took a few tottering steps, and suddenly lost her balance. She toppled forward and hit a wall on the way down. Her face crumpled, and she looked about to cry. Instead of bawling like a normal child, though, she ripped the camera from Dib's grasp and smashed it on the floor.  
  
Dib hung his head. The shame of having 6.3 million viewers see this would be nothing compared to what Gaz would do to him.  
  
The audience erupted into laughter, and suddenly Dib had an idea. A terrible, awful, nasty idea--but it had to be done.  
  
Sneakily he slid one arm out of the straightjacket, a trick perfected by use, and picked up the complementary glass of water studios provide. He took a sip and looked at Kith. She sat looking back at him, cold superiority in her eyes.  
  
He made up his mind.  
  
He spit.  
  
The water arced on slow motion to Kith, terror dawning on her computerized face.  
  
The water hit her--and she began to smoke and spark. In her pained flailing, she knocked Zim off his chair. Dib jumped up triumphantly, pointing at the alien that was beginning to show through the sparks of the hologram.  
  
"DO YOU SEE!? I'M NOT CRAZY!! THEY'RE ALIENS!!"  
  
The anchor was hopping around frantically, calling for the Alien Capture Team that was kept at the studio in case of situations like these. The ACTs began ushering people out of the studio, sealing off the exits as they went.  
  
Zim sat up groggily, rubbing his eye were Kith had smacked him.  
  
"Ohmygawd!!" squealed the anchor. "TWO aliens!"  
  
Zim looked in the pitcher of water and saw Irkan eyes staring back at him. He smacked his forehead and groaned.  
  
Dib tossed water on him too.  
  
"Ahhh!! Dib-human, this is low, even for you!!" screeched the agonized Invader.  
  
The ACTs began to surround the Irkans. Zim raised his voice as only he could and screamed, "GIIIR!!"  
  
Dib walked to stand over him. "You look like you're gonna burst into flames, smoky!" he said gleefully. "I'd better pour some water on you!" And with that, he upended the entire pitcher on Zim's head.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~At Zim's base*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Gir picked up a card.  
  
"Did you hear somethin'?" he asked MiKi.  
  
"Mmmmnope."  
  
"Okay. Go fish."  
  
~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
One of the ACT members grabbed Kith.  
  
"Get your hands off me, stinking piece of human filth!" she yelled. The human didn't comply, but instead grabbed her wrists. She bit his hand, but the human was so brain-dead he didn't react.  
  
"Hehe. Not so tough now, eh, 'Kit'?"  
  
She stopped snarling and looked at the speaker.  
  
Dib was standing in front of her, lazily swinging a pair of cuffs. In one swift movement, he darted forward and clamped them down on her slender wrists. She struggled for a moment longer, but the cuffs took effect, and she blacked out.  
  
Nearby, Zim saw one of the ACTs carrying a limp Kith away. He doubled his efforts.  
  
Suddenly his green gooey blood ran cold.  
  
Dib was kneeling down in front of him, a pair of cuff threateningly close for the Irkan's comfort.  
  
"You won't succeed, pitiful human child!" spat Zim. "No one can hold an Irkan Invader against his will!"  
  
Dib didn't answer, just gestured for one of the men to hold out Zim's hands. The man obeyed. With deliberate menace, Dib fastened the cuffs forcefully onto Zim's wrists.  
  
The last thing Zim saw before he blacked out was Dib, slowly drawing a finger across his own throat.  
  
Zim shuddered, and all went black.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
A flash of light woke Zim. He struggled to sit up, but realized that his arms and legs were strapped down. A glaringly white light shone into his face, making the rest of the room impenetrable by sight.  
  
A sinister laugh from over in the corner caused him to whip his head around. It sounded familiar....  
  
"Dib! Show yourself, don't hide in the shadows!"  
  
Slowly a small form in a trench coat sauntered up to the table. Smiling rather evilly, Dib took a seat next to his foe.  
  
"Hm. I told you I'd see you on the autopsy table someday...and look! You get to watch your girlfriend die too! Unless she doesn't die from the operation...then you get to listen to her scream in pain!"  
  
During this speech, Zim had been staring in disgust at Dib. "She's not my...my...girlfriend."  
  
"Like it matters! Oh, but what does matter is that we're behind schedule. Ready, Zim?" and Dib picked up a knife.  
  
Zim swallowed hard, determined not to show fear or pain.  
  
That was forgotten as he felt the slice of the knife in his belly.  
  
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!"  
  
"Zim, wake up!" Something poked his stomach.  
  
"NOO!! My squeedily spooch!"  
  
"Forget your stoopid spooch, Zim, we have bigger problems."  
  
Zim sat up gasping. "I had the worst dream! I was on an autopsy table and...and...um...crap."  
  
They were in a cage made with an electric wiring system that ran around the sides. It was dark, probably because there was a thick blanket draped over the bars.  
  
From outside their prison Dib could be heard, speaking into a microphone.  
  
"And here I have Zim's disguise; contacts and a wig. It's actually very sad. In disguise, Zim doesn't even have a nose or ears. Kith's disguise, I believe, is a hologram transmitter; it is entirely dependent on this chip." A murmur of interest is heard.  
  
Kith turned to Zim. "Call your SIR. I'll call MiKi."  
  
Microphones came out of her backpack implant. Zim's did the same.  
  
"Gir!"  
  
Back at the house, Gir slurped on a Diet Poop. "Yes, master?"  
  
"You have to come get me immediately!"  
  
"Okee dokey!"  
  
Zim looked over at his fellow Invader, who had just finished calling her SIR.  
  
"Ya know, if you just wore a physical disguise like me, we wouldn't be in this mess. Just thought I'd mention it."  
  
"Shut up."  
  
Outside, Dib could be heard again.  
  
"And now, without further ado, my a present--aw, man, not you!" This last part was said as Gir and MiKi flew into the room, blowing out one wall in the process.  
  
"Go away!" yelled Dib angrily.  
  
"Okay."  
  
"NO! Gir, get me out of here!"  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Go away!"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Gir!"  
  
"Comin'."  
  
During this rather interesting debacle, MiKi's forearms turned into sub- machine plasma cannons and blew away the top of the cage. Kith's I.U.P. launched a small capsule into the air, which exploded over the audience and released a haze of smoke. Spider legs grew from her back and propelled her past Zim, Dib, and Gir, who couldn't decide where to go. She climbed the podium and snatched the disguises.  
  
"Zim!"  
  
He caught his and pulled it on. Kith activated hers and MiKi's.  
  
The smoke cleared. All of the members in the audience were sitting quietly still, although Dib was alone on stage. "Zim! You can't run! I'll find you again, just you wait!" A cricket chirped in the audience. Someone whispered loudly, "He's talkin' to himself again...."  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------  
  
Kith and Zim walked quickly out of the Swollen Eyeballs foyer and into the harsh light of the harsh light of the sun. As soon as they were a good distance away, Zim turned to Gir. "Why didn't you come, Gir?!" he shrieked indignantly.  
  
The little SIR tilted his head. "We were plain' cards!"  
  
Zim's jaw dropped. "Cards?"  
  
"Mmmyep. I didn't win."  
  
MiKi nodded and held up a squeaky pig. "Look what I won!"  
  
Zim smacked his head. "Grrrr...."  
  
"Yes master?"  
  
"Not Gir, grrrr!"  
  
"Yes, my lord!"  
  
"Sheesh...."  
  
"You know, " ventured Kith thoughtfully, "This may be just the right time to strike a finishing blow against Dib, and send him in pieces to a crazy house."  
  
"Gaz buys him season passes to that place."  
  
"I have just the plan!" cried Kith suddenly. "But we'll need some rope, a pie, and a credit card." She leaned in to explain her plan to Zim.  
  
His faceted ruby eyes gleamed as he nodded appreciatively. "Yes...That'll work...I--what? Oh, yes...I see...."  
  
He threw back his head and laughed maniacally.  
  
"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA((gag, choke))AHAHAHAHAHA!! Victory will be sweet, Dib!!"  
  
Well, it took longer...but it's done! Please review! 


	3. Dib's Disaster, Kith's Secret

Part Three  
  
IDOIZJK.  
  
"I can't believe I actually let them get away!! There I was, about to make the most important speech in my life, and that stoopid little psycho-bot blows up the cage!! I am so--OWW!! What the heck was that for?!" Dib clutched his large head. "Gaz!" he whined, "Don't do that!" He scowled at his frightening sister.  
  
She heaved a sigh and actually turned off her GameSlave II. Dib swallowed hard and scooted a few inches away from her. Gaz leaned towards Dib, taking care to casually pop her knuckles against the cushions.  
  
"Listen," she began. "Listen carefully. You are driving me crazy. Very much so. You need to stop."  
  
"But they got away!! Two aliens in my grasp!!"  
  
Gaz sat back and turned on her GameSlave II again. "Dib, I think Bigfoot is drinking milk out of the carton in the kitchen."  
  
Dib jumped up frantically, completely missing the introduction to Mysterious Mysteries.  
  
"I have to see this! But I need my camera", he said, turning and running up the stairs. Then he changed his mind, and ran back down the stairs, only he tripped on the camera that someone had carelessly placed there and rolled the rest of the way down. "Mild concusion. Better get some medical help!" he screeched loudly. "But he could get away!" Once again, Dib about-faced and ran into a conveniently placed wall. ((Those things tend to pop up in the weirdest places, ya know.))  
  
Gaz watched this interesting dance of pirouettes with a raised eyebrow. She just shook her head and continued with her Vampire Piggy Hunter quest.  
  
From the kitchen an indignant cry could be heard. "There's no Bigfoot in here! And we're OUT of milk!"  
  
"Shut up and come watch your stoopid show!"  
  
Dib gasped and ran into the living room, sliding into the couch in his haste.  
  
"What the--it's Kith!! But--out of disguise!? She's out of her bizarre alien mind!! What's she doing? Maybe she's giving herself up!"  
  
Gaz growled softly and slid off the couch. She opened a window, ignoring Dib's excited ranting, and threw a brick on the roof. "Dib! Did you hear that? There's an alien on the roof!!"  
  
Dib popped up from behind the couch. "Really?" He ran outside. A moment later a ladder could be seen getting propped up against the side of the house.  
  
On the TV, the host to M.M. was interviewing Kith, asking her questions about the Irkan Empire.  
  
"Oh, those," she laughed airily. "It would take forever to tell you all the secrets. However," and she leaned into the camera, "If you look deep into my eyes I can transmit them psychically."  
  
Gaz looked up from her game. A sudden, huge blast of purple filled the TV rooms of every house in the broadcast range, and then some. When it died down, Kith was in her normal disguise, and talking about how she had a run- in with a rare species of chupacabra.  
  
Dib ran into the room. "I can't believe I even fell for that one," he said, smacking his head. "Aliens on the roof. She's used that at least a dozen times." As he came upon the sight of a motionless Gaz, Dib stopped in terror. The heebie-jeebies only grew when he saw Kith on TV, back in disguise.  
  
"Gaz? Gaz?"  
  
No answer.  
  
Dib did the only thing he could do. He leaned over his sister and turned off her GameSlave II.  
  
"DIB I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!! I WASN'T READY TO SAVE YET!!"  
  
Dib ran out the door, dodging the empty Poop cans that were being thrown at him.  
  
Halfway down the block he ran straight into someone. Or, kind of did any way. He struck an invisible barrier about a foot in front of the person.  
  
"What the--Kith!?"  
  
The assassin looked down at him from her diminutive height.  
  
"Wh-what brings you out h-here on such a day-uhm--night?" he stammered.  
  
Kith squatted down in front of Dib, until she was eye-to-eye with him.  
  
[A/N: Any sentence with the word 'squatting' sounds very dirty, doesn't it?]  
  
Then she said the last thing in the world he expected.  
  
"I need to talk to you. I...I need your help. It's very important."  
  
Dib struggled to his feet. "You...need my help? With what? What could a lowly human like me do to help a high and mighty Irkan like you?" he finished with a sneer.  
  
Kith pulled him into the side-yard between two houses.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
From across the street, Zim peered out of the windows and growled. "I can't believe it," he murmured. "She has decided to side with Dib--and I thought...." The vision blurred, and for a moment Zim didn't look as terrifying as he wanted to look. He looked hurt, angry, and lost; a sad little boy with a tear in his eye, contemplating the woes of his life.  
  
Abruptly he brushed the tear away, and stood tall...sorta. Proudly he marched to the toilet and jumped in.  
  
"Fine. If she wants to play that way, then so be it. I'm sure the Tallest will reward me greatly for turning in a traitor to the Empire."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Dib, I have to explain everything before this gets too out of hand."  
  
She pulled off her coat and tossed it on the ground. "I'm not really sentenced to life with Zim. I ran away--partly because I wanted to get away from Red, and partly because of this." She closed her eyes and disabled her holo-chip. Suddenly Dib was faced with Kith in her true form, as an Irkan; but that didn't last long. Her outline wavered, stretched and elongated, until no longer did a small Invader stand before him. Now what stood hesitantly in front of Dib was a fifteen-foot long black dragon.  
  
He stifled a scream.  
  
Finally, he really couldn't breathe through his hand anymore, so Dib carefully averted his eyes and took a deep breath. When he looked back at Kith, she had changed back into an Irkan, and was sliding her coat on.  
  
"Wha-what was that-um-thing?" he asked, stammering nervously.  
  
Kith sat down against the side of the house before answering. "Some humans have mutations, genetic differences that are harmful or cause premature death. I was hatched with something like that, a condition that would have killed me before I could even claim my Invader status. Red put all the scientists to find a cure for what I have, but all of the 'cures' had unpleasant drawbacks. Being the small, naive child that I was, I didn't have any say in the matter of which one was used. Red chose the one that would have only the smallest side effect, and for a while it seemed to work. One time, I was away from the Massive for a while on a mission, and the condition seemed to mutate further, becoming something new." She paused for breath. Dib sat unmoving in the grass next to her.  
  
"When I returned to the Massive, I was required to undergo a short series of tests; fortunately, they didn't detect the new effects of the gene and treatment combined. I was sitting in my quarters on the Massive later that day, and I realized I was thinking of...someone...and how they would never see me as anything, and suddenly my antenna were brushing the ceiling. I had changed into something new; an Irkan nearly three and a half feet taller than I originally was. Needless to say, I was ecstatic. I went to a club that night, and while I was walking back through the Massive to my quarters, I actually ran into the Tallest Purple." She growled and smacked herself on the forehead. "That was the worst thing I ever could have done. No, I wasn't punished," Kith continued, seeing Dib's wince, "At least not by normal standards. No. He wanted to take me out to dinner."  
  
"Did he know that you were so--um--"  
  
Kith laughed, an emotionless sound. "Short? No. And that's the problem. I could be...I don't really want to think on it...if he finds out I'm only an Invader because of how well I can kill things. I came to Earth because I knew Zim had been sent here; therefore, I knew the Armada would never come."  
  
Dib leapt up. "I knew it! I sooo knew it!"  
  
Kith hushed him. "You really have to pity Zim. He wants only to please his Tallest, but they've made a laughing stock out of him. He has a pile of garbage for a SIR, and still, despite all they throw at him, and despite your resistance, he still is determined to conquer the Earth and present it to his Almighty Tallest."  
  
Dib fell silent, digesting this new information. He really had been nasty to Zim, although on first impression the alien was pretty nasty himself. A thought struck him.  
  
"Then why did you and Zim want to make my life miserable? Showing up on Mysterious Mysteries, and all that junk?" he asked, eyeing her suspiciously.  
  
She stared right back at him, incredulous.  
  
"What did we do to you? You shot water at us in Skool, you eavesdropped shamelessly on our private conversations, you SPIT on me, you de-masked us in front of 6.3 million viewers, you put us in a cage like animals, for the sake of the Tallest, you were going to dissect us! You wanted to cut us open and poke at our spooches while we screamed in humiliation and pain! And what did we do to you, Dib?" she finished coldly.  
  
He fidgeted under her accusatory gaze. "You were...um...going to take over...take over the world...weren't you?"  
  
Once again Kith laughed that humorless laugh. "Yes, well, I'll have you know that despite all his bravado, Zim does the worst damage to things when he's trying to help. Seeing as how her probably doesn't want to help your planet much, I think you're pretty safe. Your bestial hunger to see us die was in vain. But, I need your help, so I'm willing to put aside your past grievances. Or," and her purple eyes flashed dangerously, "You could end up in a far worse situation."  
  
Suddenly Dib's mind was filled with the image of a million nightmares swarming toward him, filling him with a choking pain with their mere presence. He shook his head, fighting to eliminate the vision. "Your not related to Tak, are you?" he said hesitantly. "I mean, with the mind games and stuff."  
  
Kith grinned. "No, I merely trained with her. I also have psyonic powers...although my mind wipes are far superior to hers." She smiled evilly.  
  
Dib felt a wave of shock go through him. The memory of Gaz sitting motionless and unresponsive on the couch flashed through him.  
  
"You--you didn't--"  
  
"I did and I would again. You know damn well that if I hadn't, we'd be guests in the government headquarters in less than a day."  
  
"NOOO!!! WHY?! You don't get it!! I needed them to know! Why would you do something as evil as a mind-wipe on everyone who believed me?!"  
  
Kith's eyes closed in a silent defeat. "I can see you're never gonna help. Perhaps I SHOULD call the Armada, and have them demolish this sorry little stink-bag of a planet." She stood up and began to walk away.  
  
For a moment, Dib just watched her go. Suddenly she just flickered out of view, replaced by the hologram of the human.  
  
Dib shook his head and walked home thoughtfully.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Kith walked up the walkway to her house. Disconsolately she pushed open the door, ignoring her parent decoy. Slowly she trudged to her base elevator, disguised as a linen closet.  
  
As she descended to her base, Kith mentally attacked herself for confiding in Dib.  
  
"What was I thinking?! Confiding in that...that SMEET as if her could possibly understand!" she raged. She started to sniffle as she entered her darkened laboratory. The computer screen cast a dim red glow over everything.  
  
A low noise from behind her startled Kith out of her rants.  
  
"What--Zim? What are you doing here?"  
  
He stood up and strode over to her. "I would ask the same of you. Or are you finally done revealing our secrets to the Dib-human?"  
  
Kith struggled for air. "You were listening?"  
  
Zim scowled. "Of course not. I am above that stuff. No, I just saw you pull him into that alley--and then I saw him walk away unscathed. Think of the mission!" His voice grew harsh. "I will not allow your banishment on this dirtball to interfere with MY orders. I must conquer this planet, present it to my Tallest! And here you are telling all the secrets of my base! Traitors must be punished."  
  
"Ha! Perhaps it would have been better if you had listened to the conversation I had with the human! The Tallest will not allow any harm to come to me!" retorted Kith angrily.  
  
Zim's eyes narrowed. "And why is that, hmm? You know that they would enjoy nothing more than to see another 'shortie' fly out the airlock, Kith. Poof!" He pantomimed something exploding with his hands.  
  
Kith went minty. "Uh...you know, nothing much...every Invader is important......"  
  
"Perhaps we should call them, would that agree with you?"  
  
*********************************************  
  
What a strange story this is turning out to be..  
  
MiKi: Whooohoooooheeeheeehee! Hey, whoa, getting into some angst! Cool! Isn't it great to see little aliens suffer? Of course not, you fools! If you agreed with me on that punish yourself by banning yourself from my fics forever and henceforth. After you recommend them to five of your friends, of course. I have absolutely no idea where this whole Irkan-into-a-dragon thing is going...so I guess you'll just have to keep reading to find out! *malicious laughter is heard* 


	4. Hail to your Shortest!

Part Four  
  
No, I don't own Invader Zim. Please forgive any messed up..ness.in this chapter. I'm weeping fever tears as I write, and can't quite focus on the screen. Yes, pity me.  
  
"Please don't contact the Tallest, Zim, I'm asking you now as a fellow Irkan," Kith pleaded. Zim averted his head, forcing himself not to look into her beguiling violet eyes.  
  
"All the more reason. Gir! Open the tunnels between the labs." A hidden door in the wall slid open, revealing a passageway to Zim's base.  
  
Once they were in the scarlet glow of Zim's master computer, Zim turned to Kith. "I'm sorry to do this," he said, ruby eyes filled with pain, "But...Gir, do not let Kith move from that spot."  
  
Gir's trim turned red, and he came to stand in front of the trembling Invader.  
  
"Computer! Open a transmission to the Tallest."  
  
The screen flickered on to Purple and Red in their throne-chamber. They were standing next to a table stacked high with papers and maps.  
  
Zim saluted. "My Tallest!"  
  
Red glanced over at the screen. "Zim, we're a little busy right now, I seem to have lost my....sister.....Kith!" The last part was directed at Kith, standing behind Zim. Purple glanced up sharply, and his eyes flicked back from Red to Kith and back to Red. He looked at Kith and rubbed his eyes.  
  
Red was standing inches away form the screen. "Zim! How on Irk did you find her?! She ran away nearly seven months ago!" To Kith, he declared, "When you get back to the Massive, ooo, after your welcoming banquet you're going to spend some time in your quarters! You had me so worried, I--I couldn't even eat my curly fries!"  
  
Zim stood slack-jawed and stared at Kith, who stood quietly, trying in vain not to see her brother on the screen.  
  
Finally Zim worked up the air to speak. "You--you're the--the Almighty Red's--sister?" Betrayal and anger shone on his face. "Why did you end up here?! Why...why...." he couldn't finish.  
  
Suddenly, the intruder klaxon sounded in the upper levels of Zim's base. A second later, Dib slid out of the elevator tube, brandishing a sheaf of papers.  
  
"Kith!" he yelled frantically. "I figured it out!! I know how you can get tall again and see the purple guy again...oh...am I interrupting something?" he finished lamely, quailing under the intense scrutiny of four Irkans and a SIR. "Um, Kith? Why are you doing that?"  
  
Kith was drawing her finger across her throat, frantically trying to get him to shut up. Purple walked up to the screen. For a moment he just peered at Kith, mulling over some thought.  
  
"Hey, Red?" he asked. "What color are your sister's eye's?"  
  
"I dunno, same as yours, I think. Look at me, Kith."  
  
She slowly raised her gaze off the floor and eyed her brother's confused face.  
  
"Yeah," he told Purple. "They are exactly the same color as your eyes, Pur! How weird is that...."  
  
Purple was regarding Kith with an unidentifiable expression.  
  
"That color is so familiar...."  
  
"Well, duh! You see it in the mirror all the time!"  
  
"No... I saw it on someone else, some one I met on the Massive.... You remember Kas, don't you?" he asked his co-Tallest. "She ran away on me at dinner!"  
  
"Hehehe...that was pretty funny....hey, Zim, where's Kith?" Red frantically peered through the screen, but he couldn't see his little sister.  
  
Zim frantically glanced around his base. "She seems to have disappeared, my Tallest."  
  
"Ooo...she gets these bad habit watching you sneak out to parties, ya know," Red said to Purple, somewhat jokingly. He turned back to the screen, and the fiery eyes focused on Dib. "I am going to appoint you...what's your name?...oh well...big-headed boy, to the task of locating my sister and keeping her safe until the Massive arrives to pick her up."  
  
Dib nodded mutely.  
  
Zim gaped at Dib, and then whined at the Tallest, "But he's the stoopid human stink-beast I always told you about! You can trust me!"  
  
Red cocked his head at Zim and eyed him suspiciously. "Actually, we really wouldn't trust you to carry our bags of chips. But--" he said hastily, with an elbow form Purple, "Be sure to keep up the good work conquering Earth! Remember--when the Armada arrives in six months to retrieve Kith, I want her safe and healthy."  
  
With that he shut off the transmission. Silence filled the base.  
  
Zim slowly turned to Dib. Dib shrugged and grinned weakly. "I guess you have to wait on that whole 'conquering-the-Earth' thing for a while, huh?" he said sheepishly.  
  
Zim collapsed in his chair.  
  
"She's the Almighty Tallest's sister...and I was going to report her for execution...."  
  
"It seems she's more than just Red's sister," Dib said, coming to stand by Zim. "Has she told you?"  
  
Zim looked sharply at his nemesis. "Told me what?"  
  
"That she can change her physical form and become anything else, that she accidentally ran into the Tallest Purple while she was changed into a taller...person, that he took her out to dinner, that she ditched him halfway through said dinner...any of that ring a bell?"  
  
Zim slammed his fists on the computer's keyboard. "I cannot believe she kept such secrets...What? Are you still here?" he growled, glaring at Dib.  
  
"Well, yeah. I figure that you could at lest explain some things to me if I'm going to be Kith's bodyguard. First off, why is it such a bad thing that the purple guy likes her?"  
  
Zim sharply twisted in his seat. "Tallest Purple--he likes Kith? How so?"  
  
Dib shrugged. "Well, the way she put it, he ran into her after a night of clubbing, and decided to take her out to dinner."  
  
"But she's shorter than I am! And she's Tallest Red's sister!"  
  
"That brings up another thing," interrupted Dib. "Wouldn't his TALL genes do something to affect her SHORT genes?"  
  
"And how long have you been thinking on this one, O Big Headed Thinking Boy?"  
  
Dib scowled and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his coat. "I can find out anyway, Zim. You don't seem to realize that I am more valued by the Tallest than you, and therefore higher in rank. YOU don't HAVE to tell.."  
  
Zim obviously felt that one. He waved one hand dismissively. "Same genes. To put it a way you could understand, they are twins. Except something happed to Kith in her smeet tube. Almost what you would call a 'miscarriage.'"  
  
Dib squinted as he wrestled with a particularly chewy thought. For a moment he was silent, and Zim began to grow suspicious.  
  
Finally, Dib broke the silence.  
  
"Well, first things first--we've got to find Kith."  
  
Zim sighed and resumed smashing his head on the arm of his chair. The humiliation of allowing a human piece of filth into his lab was quite acute; the fact that said human was currently making sandwiches in the kitchen was nearly as bad.  
  
"Zim! Do you want mustard on your sandwich?" he yelled down the P.A. system.  
  
The bruised Irkan raised his head and glowered at the speaker. "I want none of your human filth, Dib!" he yelled frustratedly. "You would sooner poison me than give me decent food!"  
  
"No mustard; check."  
  
Zim growled softly to himself and continued typing in scans for Kith. "How in the world could she manage to get out of scanner range in less than an hour?! These are designed to go for thousands of miles!"  
  
"Didja say something to me, Zim?" asked Dib, stepping out of the elevator tube. He handed a sandwich to Gir and set one down on the console besides his temporary ally.  
  
"No, Dib, because then I would be being nice to you, and you are not worthy of the favor of Zim."  
  
Dib rolled his eyes and sat on a stool near the desk. "Look, I said I was sorry about that whole dissection thing. I, um...I had a talk with Kith, and she said that I was being kind of hard on you--and I thought that since, at least for a while, we're working together, we could call it a truce."  
  
Zim's head stopped in mid-smash, and his fingers hovered shakily over the keyboard. Slowly he turned around to face Dib, until he was eye-to-eye with the boy. "You want me to shake your hand--and promise not to destroy you?"  
  
"At least for a while, yes."  
  
Zim glared disdainfully at Dib's outstretched hand. Slowly he reached his own glove fist toward it--and grasped it in a firm handshake. Surprised, Dib raised his head, only to find he was staring straight into Zim's faceted ruby eyes.  
  
"I'm doing this for Kith, you know," Zim said. "Not for you, not for my Tallest--for Kith." Dib thought he saw a glimmer of--something, he wasn't sure--in Zim's eye, but he dismissed it.  
  
"So am I, I'll have you know," Dib retorted loftily.  
  
Zim seized the advantage as soon as he sensed it. "You don't feel for her, do you?" he cried gleefully. "That is very amusing to the mighty Zim! As if she would ever choose you for her love-pig! The very thought of a powerful Irkan like Kith ever pondering such a thing--is ludicrous!" He fell to the floor, laughing hysterically.  
  
Dib said nothing, but stood with his jaw and fists clenched. His first reaction was anger and embarrassment for the accusation, but a moment later he realized that Zim had hit upon the truth. He had been denying it, lying to himself --I knew she was an alien, he thought, and I know she would never return the feeling. Still, a revelation like that didn't make the wounds hurt any less.  
  
Suddenly Dib's humiliation disappeared into a tidal wave of fury. He seized the collar of Zim's uniform and hoisted him against the nearest wall, preventing the surprised Irkan from calling to his computer.  
  
"You think just being an Irkan makes you so much better than the average human; well I'll tell you something--Kith even said that you were nothing but a laughingstock on the Massive." At Zim's doubtful expression, Dib nodded in grim confirmation. "Yep. You were sent on this 'mission' to get you out of the way for the real Invaders."  
  
Zim shook his head and pushed Dib away. "You filthy, stinking human, you LIE! Computer, get the Dib out of my base now." Strong cables erupted out of the ceiling and latched onto Dib. He didn't resist the forceful handling, although they used much more force than was necessary. It really didn't matter though. He had hit on a weakness in Zim--and there were several more he suspected had come perilously close to surfacing.  
  
As soon as the gnomes had dumped him past the perimeter, Dib brushed himself off and started toward Kith's base. If he was going to be her Tallest-regulated bodyguard, he would have to learn a bit more about her.  
  
A moment later he rang the intercom buzzer on Kith's gate post.  
  
A static filled voice could be heard. "What. I'm a little busy."  
  
"Kith? Kith, its Dib. Can I come in?" He held his breath hopefully. After a moments pause, the gate unlatched itself, and Dib stepped through the gate. MiKi met him at the door, out of disguise. "Ooo! I like your coat!! Can I have, please?! It's so soft and... and coaty!!"  
  
Dib nervously wrapped the said coat tighter around his slight frame. "Uh, no... I kinda need it for...stuff." He felt around is his pocket and withdrew a ball of lint. "Here. This is pocket lining!"  
  
MiKi snatched the wad and rubbed it around her face. "Soft!"  
  
Dib carefully stepped past the purring SIR and looked around the base, what he could see. Kith had obviously done a better job of investigating human interior decorating. For one, there was no toilet in the kitchen. Various doors led off to other rooms. He sat down on the soft looking couch and poked at some magazines written in Irkan.  
  
"Do you see why I had to get away?"  
  
Dib started, dropping the magazine. A door across the room opened and Kith stepped out, wearing a trench coat, but not the rest of her disguise. Dib felt his heart flutter; an interesting reaction to feel for a green alien with purple buggy eyes, he noted self-consciously.  
  
As if she sensed his thoughts, Kith turned her head, looked out the window.  
  
"You should wear your disguise if you're going to be walking around the ground floor," Dib reproved her sternly. "Anyone could see you out of disguise."  
  
Kith looked strangely at him and cocked a non-existent eyebrow skeptically. "Wouldn't it fit your plans perfectly if someone did?"  
  
Dib picked up a magazine and flipped the pages nonchalantly. "I plan to take my role as body-guard seriously."  
  
"Body-guard?" Kith's voice became somewhat mocking. "Are we on a crusade now? Protect the Rainforests, Save the Aliens?"  
  
Dib shook his head. "Not really. After you left Zim's base, your...uh, brother told me to make sure that you were safe until the Massive came to pick you up in six months."  
  
"I imagine Zim was pretty put out with that decision," Kith said sarcastically.  
  
"Actually, very much so."  
  
Kith's composure changed drastically. She stood up straight, and her eyes brightened with a mischievous gleam.  
  
"You've just given me the best idea," she said excitedly, yanking on Dib's arm. She pulled him into the linen closet.  
  
Dib's heart was beating madly.  
  
The elevator began to descend into the depths of Kith's base. His pulse slowed down disappointedly.  
  
"I know just how to fix this whole mess once and for all!" 


	5. Kith, Mad Scientist Extraordinaire!

Yeah! I'm not is skool! I can work on.stuff! Actually, I'm still sick, so don't start envying me yet. Okay. I don't own anything from Invader Zim except myself, Kith. Thanks!  
  
"So, um, what exactly is this 'wonderful' plan you've got, Kith?" Dib asked. As soon as the elevator had stopped, she had jumped out and dragged him over to a small computer desk. She had plunked him down and run off, leaving the nervous young man staring uneasily around the base. A moment later Kith had returned, slender arms piled high with techy stuff.  
  
"Now, stay there and don't move," she commanded him. Dib swallowed nervously. Frowning in concentration, Kith had rummaged around in the pile of stuff until she came up with a syringe. Dib felt the hair on the back of his neck rise.  
  
"I need your DNA so I can...adjust my computer to fit my plan," Kith explained. Dib nodded nervously. Carefully she stuck the needle in his arm and withdrew a small amount of blood. That done, she briskly walked over to the main console and placed it in a receptive slot. It disappeared, and a moment later a diagram of DNA popped up on the monitor. As she typed furiously, Kith explained what she was doing.  
  
"All I want is to find some place quiet to live; none of this nonsense that comes with being the sister of one Tallest and the desire of another. If I can make Red think I'm not Irkanly 'appropriate' to keep around any longer, he'll leave me alone. That's where you come in." Dib felt a moment of indignation to learn that he was merely a pawn in her plan. "If I bring you and Zim to the party, everyone will think I've gone completely nuts! They'll leave me alone on the planet of my choice. What I'm doing now," and here she gestured to the screen and the DNA, "Is trying to rewrite your genetics to alter your physical form. That way, you can come onto the Massive without drawing too much attention."  
  
"Now just a second!" Dib leapt up. "I think my body is just fine the way it is, thank you very much!"  
  
"Well, aside from your head there's nothing that distinguishes you from any other human. What I'm doing is turning your human DNA, into...Irkan DNA."  
  
"What?!"  
  
"No no no, it's only temporary. I'll just save it as it was before and re- inject it into you after the party."  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
Kith turned around and treated Dib to her patented double-barreled glare. "Are you or are you not my body-guard?"  
  
"I--"  
  
"Do you or do you not want to see the Massive?"  
  
"But--"  
  
"If you are my body-guard, then you will be expected to attend the party. Nobody but the Tallest know that you're human. This is the easiest way to let you come."  
  
Easiest?! thought Dib frantically. This is genetics! This is playing God!  
  
"So what?" Kith asked. Dib stared at her blankly.  
  
"You heard that?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
Dib blushed violently. He stared at his hands and didn't say anything. Eventually the sound of keys clicking could be heard again, cutting through the uncomfortable silence like a multitude of swords. After a very long seeming pause, Dib spoke up again.  
  
"Will I really get to see the Massive?"  
  
Kith stopped toying and turned around. "Of course. Now come here." She beckoned to him.  
  
Hesitantly Dib stood and walked over to where Kith sat at the computer.  
  
"Sit there," she said, pointing to a seat next to her. Dib sat. Kith leaned over and secured his left arm to the chair, with straps at his wrist and elbow.  
  
Panic flooded Dib. "What are you doing?!"  
  
"Relax." She turned around in her chair to face him; in her gloved hands was a syringe filled with a green liquid.  
  
Dib's panic intensified.  
  
"What is that?!"  
  
"Your new DNA. Now stop shaking; we don't want this to miss the vein."  
  
Dib struggled to calm down. "But the party isn't for six months," he protested, clinging to his last hope.  
  
Kith just injected the serum into Dib's arm. Only when the last drop was gone did she answer. "Well, I have two reasons to do this now. One, you will need time to react to the functions your new body provides. The functions fulfilled by your squeedily spooch, for one. Two, it's a precaution. If you get any further thoughts about turning Zim and me in, you will end up under the blade with us. After all, you need your own DNA to get back into your human body." This said, she released him from the chair and gave him a bag of chips. "Eat this. You'll feel better."  
  
Dib clutched at the chips, breaking a few. "But--skool--"  
  
"Here." Kith handed him a small black chip. "A holo chip, like mine. Don't get it wet. Although," she smiled, "soon you will develop a severe reaction to water."  
  
Dib stared mutely after her as she went about tidying up her lab. "Oh, and Dib," she called, "Perhaps you should stay here tonight. The transformation will be...unpleasant. And in the morning, we need to give you and I.U.P. as well."  
  
Dib's heart was once again flooded with emotion. ...Stay here tonight...Wait. "What's an I.U.P?"  
  
Kith turned around and pointed to her backpod. "An Irkan Utility Pod." She pointed to an elevator in the corner. "Take that and turn left once you're upstairs. There will be a cot and a change of clothes. The little room in the corner of that room is the chalk room." At Dib's questioning glance, she smiled. "It's the Irkan equivalent of a human bathroom. Use it; in the morning you'll look like shit."  
  
Dib nodded mutely and stepped into the elevator. Kith listened to his mind for a moment to be sure that he was in bed, and requested her computer to contact the Tallest.  
  
Red flickered onto the screen. "Hey, Kith, ya miss me?"  
  
"Not especially," Kith replied coolly. "I only called to say that if you want me to come to the party, and later back onto the Massive, you oblige my requests."  
  
"Hey sure, whatever you want."  
  
For a second Kith felt sorry for being so difficult for her brother; he really loved her, after all. Then she shook her head. Things had gone too far.  
  
"I want to bring some...guests."  
  
**********************************************************  
  
Dib stumbled out of his room the next morning, yawning and sore all over.  
  
"If this is how I feel, I must definitely look like shit," he mumbled groggily. He made his shaky way to the bathroom and raised his face to the mirror.  
  
**********************************************************  
  
Kith, down in her lab, was listening expectantly for the shriek that followed.  
  
Two seconds later, a frenzied Irkan jumped out of the elevator. "You can't seriously have done this to me I thought it was some kind of joke what the hell do you think you're doing?!" Most of this was said in less than three seconds.  
  
Kith regarded her spazing creation carefully. He was still much taller than she, around four feet. His eyes, strangely enough, had turned out to be an icy, crystal blue. All in all, not bad for her first real life-altering experiment.  
  
She calmly walked over to Dib and placed a calming hand on his shoulder. Gently she led him over to a table, where a brand new I.U.P. waited for him. "You need to be calm for this," she said. Dib nodded and took a deep breath.  
  
Suddenly a long robotic prod-thing stretched down from the ceiling and drilled two holes into Dib's spine.  
  
"AAHHH!! Oh the pain!"  
  
A second later the arm withdrew, and Kith lifted the pod into the holes. Dib felt a strange sensation tickling the back of his brain.  
  
"There will be a strange feeling in your mind." Kith explained. "That's the pod getting adapted to your body. Oh! I almost forgot; you need a SIR."  
  
Dib cocked his sapphire eye at Kith. "A what?"  
  
Kith gestured to MiKi, calm and trimmed in black. "A SIR; a Standard Information Retrieval unit. Only, keep it away from Gir."  
  
Another arm lowered down from the ceiling, this time carrying a small folded SIR. Quickly it stood up and saluted Dib.  
  
"Yes my lord."  
  
Dib looked uneasily at Kith. "Um...what's it want?"  
  
Kith smirked. "Give it a name, or a command. It will follow your orders."  
  
"Alright...uh, Hex, go get my holo-chip from my cot."  
  
The red-eyed SIR saluted again and disappeared up the elevator. Dib nodded approvingly. "Wow."  
  
Kith tossed him an Original Poop. "Eat up. Breakfast."  
  
Dib stared at the soda. "You have snacks for breakfast?"  
  
"Uh-huh." Kith opened a bag of chips and crammed a fistful in her mouth. "Irkans practically live on what you deem snacks."  
  
Hex returned from his errand. "Here, my lord!" He held out the chip. Dib took it from his outstretched hand.  
  
"Thanks." He turned to Kith. "What do I do with this thing?"  
  
She set her Poop down on a table and pawed through a drawer, looking for something. She seemed to find what she was looking for, and held up a pair of gloves. "Here; too many things on this planet, or any other planet for that matter, are harmful to Irkan flesh. These help." She tossed them to the startled Dib. Numbly he slipped them on.  
  
"And the chip? I'm not wearing a sorry disguise like Zim's," he informed Kith hurriedly.  
  
She laughed, a pleasant sound. "Of course not. I've already programmed it to mimic your human body, so no one will really be able to tell the difference."  
  
Dib's disguise flickered into place, and Kith activated hers. Dib didn't say anything for a while after that.  
  
As they were getting ready to go to skool, Dib asked Kith whether or not Zim knew about this whole thing.  
  
Kith frowned at her boots. "His mind is blocked somehow. Extreme emotion tends to do that sometimes; I haven't told him, in any case."  
  
Dib bit his lip.  
  
On the way to skool, Dib caught sight of Gaz up ahead. He ran up to her.  
  
She turned around and flicked off her GameSlave II. "Where have you been?" she demanded. Dib faltered, expecting anything except this. "I--I was--"  
  
"Dad came home for an hour last night. He just wanted to get some fresh sheets, but you weren't there to see him. He was kinda upset."  
  
Dib stopped walking. "Dad came home? He was upset, because I wasn't there? Really?"  
  
"Well, duh." Gaz resumed walking. "Our family dinner is next week, you know. Don't miss it."  
  
Dib stood there, pondering what he'd just heard. He didn't notice Zim walk up behind him.  
  
"Hello, Dib. How are you? Feeling fine? Is your heart still beating?" He sneered.  
  
Kith ran up to them. "Gee, thanks for leaving me. Hi, Zim."  
  
"Hello. I was just asking Dib how he was feeling; he seems a little green," Zim said, throwing Dib's insult back at him.  
  
Kith hid a small smile. "Actually, he looks a little green to me too." She checked to make sure no one was around, and then she turned off Dib's disguise.  
  
Dib flickered into his Irkan body. Pale blue eyes regarded Zim's shaking form with mild interest. Dib turned around and revealed his pod to Zim. "I had a small operation last night. I feel like a brand new person!"  
  
Zim spun to Kith. "What did you do?! That's not even authorized on Irk, and here you are turning stoopid little humans into glorious Irkan soldiers! What are you up to?" he asked suspiciously.  
  
Kith explained her plan to him as she steered them to skool. She finished just as they walked into the classroom.  
  
Zim stared incredulously at Kith. "Why on Irk would you want to stay here, instead of life on the Massive? I mean, first there's humans," and he waved at the class, "And then there's Irkans! Like us!"  
  
Kith sighed and took her seat. "I really wouldn't expect you to know what it feels like to be regarded as a freak by your own people, would you Zim?"  
  
A shadow of revulsion and pain crossed Zim's face. "You would be surprised." He took his seat.  
  
Dib and Kith sat down as well, each thinking their own melancholy thoughts.  
  
On a whim, Kith tried to sense what was going on in Zim's mind. Nothing. A maelstrom of gloom and dark red thoughts. She tried Dib's next.  
  
Sadness for missing his father. Wonder at his transformation. Deep blue currents laced with shots of black and white. Love, for his dad, and Gaz, and herself.  
  
Kith sat back, reeling in shock. He--before she made him Irkan! She shuddered, imagining what it must have felt like to have Zim find out his feelings, even before Dib himself knew! Ewww....  
  
"And no matter what you thought before, you are all doomed. Doomed to be doomed forever in a pile of stinky doom!" Ms. Bitters droned.  
  
Kith raised her hand. "Ms. Bitters."  
  
The serpentine head snaked over. "What do you want, you DOOMED little girl?"  
  
"I, uh...hafta go to the bathroom. Yeah, that's it."  
  
"Go, then."  
  
Kith gathered her things and ran out the door. Dib stared after her, wondering what was upsetting her. His gaze met Zim's, and they both looked away.  
  
Yay!! Look at me being done! I haven't really decided where to go from here, so write! Give me ideas! Boo yah! Wow.that fever has affected me more than I though.please review! 


	6. Prelude to a Jerry Springer Incident

The rest of the day passed as if it was some sort of waking hell. Dib's new pod chafed painfully on his back, and more than once he caught himself about to take a drink from the fountain. The first time he wasn't lucky enough to remember in time, and the scene he made had Zim rolling around laughing.  
  
During lunch, Zim had seemed determined to subject Dib to all the indignities that he had been forced to endure during the past years. Bologna found its way onto his face, and when he looked up from the floor, Zim was there, laughing.  
  
Finally, the end bell rang. Dib collected his things from his locker and followed Gaz out the front door. She seemed pretty engrossed in her GameSlaveII, but she was at least decent enough to nod in his direction.  
  
When they arrived at home, Dib tossed his backpack down on his bed and headed out the door, calling to Gaz that he was heading out and would be back in time to make dinner. No answer.  
  
Halfway down the block, Dib noticed Zim knocking on the door to Kith's base. He bit his lip and walked faster.  
  
Dib arrived at the door and was pleasantly surprised to discover the lawn gnomes seemed perfectly content to leave him alone. He rang the doorbell. Kith opened it, looking no less shaken than she did when she ran out of class that morning. When she saw it was Dib, a forced smile graced her face.  
  
"Dib...come in. Zim just dropped by; should I order a pizza? I know a good place that makes them with fairly standard stuff, you don't get zits if you eat it...." she became quiet quickly when she realized she was rambling.  
  
"No thanks, I'm fine. I just wanted to see if you were alright, after you ran out of class." Dib swallowed and looked around. "Can we lose the disguises? They're uncomfortable."  
  
Zim, sprawled out on the couch, snorted derisively. "The human sounds like us! This is very humorous! I laugh."  
  
Kith shot a venomous glare at Zim and answered Dib. "That's a good idea." She showed him how to turn off the hologram generator, while Zim glared openly at them.  
  
"I'm still unable to see why you even bothered to do this, Kith," he growled. "If the Tallest knew-"  
  
"Well the Tallest don't know, do they?" she snapped back. "Besides, what's Red gonna do? Exile me? It's for our security, Zim. If Dib is genetically Irkan, then he won't dare try to turn us in. Who knows. He might even help us find better ways to blend in on Earth, until the Massive comes." She looked to Dib for a conformation.  
  
"Oh, yeah, definitely," he replied, nodding. "Anything I can do, let me know."  
  
"You can leave Kith alone.." muttered Zim under his breath.  
  
Kith's antennae twitched. "Did you say something, Zim?"  
  
"No!" he nearly yelled. "I said nothing! Nope. I am perfectly silent."  
  
"We could only hope," Dib said with a sneer.  
  
Kith looked strangely from one to the other. "Um.okay. Sure. I'm going to go get something.I'll be right back." She hurried up the elevator.  
  
Zim and Dib glared at each other in a long and awkward pause. Finally Dib looked away, tired of seeing the smug grim on the Irkan's face. He felt around for his backpack, before he remembered he had left it at home. He sighed, in frustration and called Hex on his pod. Zim's eyes bugged out.  
  
"You gave him a pod?!" he shrieked at Kith. "And a SIR?! What are you thinking!?"  
  
Kith stuck her head out of the elevator, trying not to lose her temper completely. "My plan includes Dib blending in on the Massive, and no Irkan who's still part of society goes without a pod and a SIR."  
  
"But he's not PART of Irkan society! You seem to be unable to grasp tha-"  
  
Kith stormed up to him and stuck her face in his-somewhat hard for her to do, seeing as he was actually taller. "I will do what I wish to do, Zim!" she yelled. "In case you've forgotten, I don't need to reveal my plans to you. I may be shorter, but I am the sister of Almighty Tallest Red, and I will not ruin my life to suit your needs!"  
  
Zim was speechless.  
  
Okay, sorry to make it relatively shorter than the rest..but I realized all my chapters were too long to post quickly anyway. I'm going to start making all of them a lot shorter, so I can post them more often. Please review, tell me what ya think! Thanx! 


	7. Death by Brainwashing

Okay, this chapter is incredibly angsty. Sweet Irkan Gods, how the angst flows. Really though, this is quite the exception, not the rule. It won't remain this angsty. By the way, opportunities to come to the Massive party are all gone. I've gotten through my rut, and no longer need your services. Although.  
  
Zim was speechless. Quickly though, he regained his fire and glared at Kith.  
  
"YOU are the one who is flaunting Irkan law for a HUMAN!" he bellowed in a very Zim way. "It's not enough that you come to my assigned planet and ruin everything, now you've gone and brought the Tallest to this little filth hole!"  
  
Dib rose in protest to this remark, only to be ignored by the aliens. He sat back on the stool and felt very uncomfortable.  
  
"I wouldn't have come to this planet if I thought Red and Pur would follow me here! Did you know that's why I chose this planet?" Kith yelled back in Zim's face. "Do you?!" She was nearly screaming at him now. "Because I knew they would never come! They don't want anything to do with you! If I came to Earth they would never follow me within fifteen-thousand light- years of you!"  
  
Anger shone in Zim's eyes, clouded over with a murky haze of disbelief. Kith felt the bleak landscape of his mind become perforated with white cracks of doubt. "You're lying!" he finally spat.  
  
Kith glowered at him, her lovely features twisted into a mask of grief and pain. "If only I was, Zim. I wish I were." And she sent image after image of the Tallest laughing into his mind, forcing him to accept what he could not endure. Silver drops of ancient tears ran down her face and Zim's as she ruthlessly filled Zim's head with his humiliation. He turned and fled out the door, into the night. Gir, who up until then had been listening with rapt attention to the whole debacle, pulled on Kith's sleeve. She sniffed and sank to her knees on the tile, out of disguise in front of the open door.  
  
MiKi padded over on titanium feet to her mistress. "Are you okay, lady?" she whispered.  
  
Kith shook her head bleakly. "I've killed him. I should never have told him that. It will kill him. I can't let him go like that!" The last part came out a near-frantic shout as she stumbled to her feet and ran to Dib. "Help me find him, Dib. We've got to find him."  
  
Outside, thunder rumbled ominously. Kith paled. "It's going to rain.and at this point he won't care."  
  
Dib repressed the urge to say something about just letting him go, but thought better of it. Kith was becoming hysterical at this point. Quickly he grabbed an armful of coats and began wrapping Kith in them.  
  
"We'll find him, Kith. I promise. We'll use the SIRs to track him down or something. We have to hurry though. If we get caught in the rain, I'm gonna have to scream and cry about it." He smiled weakly at his attempt at humor.  
  
Kith smirked cynically. "Yeah, it would be a shame if we got caught in the rain. I'd hate to make Red come all this way for a corpse."  
  
"Right.."  
  
"Gir, MiKi, Hex, find Zim now," Kith commanded the SIRs. "Follow his pod signal. Find him now!" She sent the bots out the door with a final shove and turned to Dib.  
  
"Let's go."  
  
Zim stumbled blindly through the night, heading deep into the central city park. How could the Tallest not need me? I'm the most Important Invader in Operation Impending Doom II! They said so themselves! His mind was filled with the scenes he had witnessed moments ago, scenes of the Tallest giggling behind their hands during his communications.  
  
He pushed through the shrubbery surrounding an abandoned gazebo and dropped onto one of the benches, drawing his knees to his chest. All his instincts were demanding he find a better shelter, to guard him from the storm, but he ignored the chill winds and haze with a soulless indifference.  
  
A raindrop smacked him on the cheek and ran down his throat, leaving a burning trail along his unprotected skin. He numbly shifted to the middle of the gazebo floor, and laid his head on the peeling boards. The rain began to fall faster, and he watched it.  
  
Kith stumbled on an unearthed root in the path, sending her reeling into Dib. "Sorry," she muttered. "I should probably pay better attention..."  
  
Dib winced uncomfortably, but said nothing. "We'll find him," he promised.  
  
Kith nodded. "Maybe we should split up," she suggested. "I'll go further into the park, and you go to the playground area. See if he's not sulking on the monkey bars or something."  
  
Dib was about to protest when he saw the haunted, haggard look on her face. He nodded briskly.  
  
"Sure. Be safe," he added.  
  
She nodded and pushed through the bushes.  
  
The wind began to blow harder now, and a fat drop of water landed on Kith's hand. She winced and stuck the wound in her mouth, looking nervously around for a place to hide.  
  
A flash of white through the trees gave her hope, and she stumble through mud to the structure.  
  
As she drew closer, she realized it was a park structure of sorts, a gazebo. She gratefully climbed the steps, and drew in a sharp breath as she saw who else was occupying her shelter.  
  
Zim lay asleep and shivering in the middle of the floor, away from the open walls. He tossed and turned, from dreams, and a few spatterings of water that reached him.  
  
Kith sighed in audible relief, and sat down on the floor beside Zim. She pulled the mike out of her pod, about to call Dib, and realized that even if he could hear her over the rain, it was still raining, and he would never be able to get to them. She glanced at Zim, so unbearably innocent in his fretful sleep, and so capable of cruelty. She sighed. Now was not the time for cruelty. Now was time to get some rest.  
  
She lay down behind Zim, pulling the many coats over her shoulder and his. She signed, fatigue finally catching up to her, adrenaline failing to keep her awake. With one grateful look at Zim's sleeping form, she closed her eyes and fell asleep.  
  
Whoo! The angst-fest is nearly over! One more chapter, perhaps, and then there won't be any more until after the party. There's always angst after a party, ya know. Remember! Thirteenth reviewer gets to mess with Red's head! Maybe pour some punch on it! 


	8. When Violet Eyes Are Crying

Yay! Finally, we're leaving the Forest of Angst! Now entering, the Wastelands of Insanity! You think I'm joking? Try to guess who the next character is, and tell me if I'm lying! Happy reading!  
  
Disclaimer: ((which I've been failing to include)) I don't own Invader Zim, nor do I own any sort of cheese product. How sad that I don't have any cheese in may house. That's just wrong.  
  
Something tickled Zim's face, and he raised one hand to brush it away, only half-awake yet. Sleepily he opened his eyes, blinking owlishly against the light of the morning sun. Where was he.oh yeah. That awful.disagreement.the day before. He rolled over on the warped planks of the floor, and ran into someone.  
  
Kith slept on, oblivious to Zim's movement. Hastily he scooted back on the floor, dragging the coat with him. He looked down at the water burns on his arms, gingerly feeling them to check for any serious damage.  
  
"Not as bad as it could have been," he mused grumpily to himself. "To think that.assassin.would come looking for me." he trailed off mid- sentence, leaving a Caz-like cliffhanger in his words. ((A/N: Inside joke, obviously.)) He glared at Kith's prone form on the floor, debating with himself whether he should kick her or drape the coat over her and leave.  
  
"No.I will not do either. Wait---why am I talking to myself? Only Dib does that! Stupid human-uhm--Irkan bio-beast!" He shook his fist forcefully at the ceiling of the gazebo, as if it were taunting him. ((Stupid gazebo.sorry, only Elvenmage22 will get this.))  
  
Kith shifted in her sleep, startling Zim. He started violently, unsure of how to react-run or stay? The all too vivid images of the previous night flooded his mind again, and only his Invader's pride kept him from fleeing immediately. He slumped on the seat of the gazebo and waited for her to wake up. She didn't move for the next five minutes, so he shifted to a more comfortable position and practiced his glares on her back.  
  
Kith stirred again and rolled over a few minutes later. She opened her eyes, blinking against the morning light. The first thing that registered was Zim sitting across the gazebo, picking determinedly at one if his burns. She sat up self consciously, pulling the coat over her knees.  
  
"Zim?"  
  
He started again, scowling at her. "Do you have something else to shove into my head, Kith? Or do you just want to run it past me how useless I am again?"  
  
She blinked quickly and kept her eyes on her knees, not trusting herself to look at his face. "Zim, may I just say one thing?"  
  
He waved one hand dismissively. "Go ahead. I can't promise I'll listen, but.go ahead. Have fun."  
  
Kith bit her lip and took a deep breath. "Zim, I'm sorry about last night. I honestly didn't mean to go that far overboard. I can't get it across how sorry I am about what I did, and if you like, I can make you forget it."  
  
He stared openly at her, trying to process what had just been said. "Make me forget.?"  
  
She nodded and picked at the peeling paint on the floor. "Yeah. If you want.."  
  
"No." He shook his head determinedly. "No. If that's how the Massive feels, then let them feel it. It will bring me all the more glory when I take over this pathetic meatball of a planet!" he snarled. She sniffed, ((although I have no idea how,)) and smiled feebly. He certainly was a brave one, really. There were many others who would have chosen the easier path. She respected Zim for this.  
  
He leaned forward and stared at her. "So now what? Now that you've.changed the Dib, and the Massive is coming here, what do we do now? I imagine there isn't much to do while we wait, seeing as how I'm not allowed to take over the planet for a while."  
  
Kith shrugged. "I'm not really sure. I had just planned on screwing up royally on the Massive, and making everyone want me to stay on Earth. I'm not sure what to do now. Although we should contact Dib, and get your burns treated."  
  
Zim nodded and allowed himself a small smirk. "Yes, let us see to our wounds. And perhaps I can show the Dib how to be a SUPERIOR Irkan.keep your friends close, but your enemies closer, I always say."  
  
Kith stepped down the steps of the gazebo, leading Zim home. "Zim, that's an Earthanoid saying."  
  
"No it's not. I made it myself."  
  
"You read it in Mrs. Bitter's literature book!"  
  
".eh...I wrote that book."  
  
"Sure you did." Kith rolled her eyes and led him back to the base.  
  
Dib paced back and forth in front of the front window of Kith's house. "Where are they? She hasn't contacted me, and it's been hours! Nearly a whole day! Hex, have you found them yet?" He turned to his SIR, who had unfortunately met Gir and suffered the consequences.  
  
"Ehh..no sah! Dey be's not here, Mistah!" she shrugged and picked a card from the pile in front of MiKi.  
  
"Great." Dib rolled his eyes. He called out the microphone from his pod and called to Kith and Zim. "Hello, is anyone there! Kith? Zim? Where are you guys?"  
  
Kith answered him in a staticky voice. "Yeah, we're about a block away. Coming home."  
  
"Okay." He heaved a sigh of relief and spoke again. "I'll be on the roof with my telescope. There's a Leonid meteor shower tonight; pretty cool."  
  
"All right, we're-" she was cut off.  
  
"Kith?" Dib called. "Kith?"  
  
A roar of static filled his brain. He could make out the wail of a siren, and the crackle of electricity. Someone was saying something in another language, but it wasn't anything he could understand. Frantically he told the pod to record and translate the message, and ran outside. The message became clearer, and began to make sense.  
  
"Help.my shi.out of contro..can't fly it.mayda.." Dib strained to hear more.  
  
Suddenly a streak of vivid blue fire shot through the sky and careened wildly through the sky. A pair of flames shot out in front of it, to slow it down. It was coming close enough for Dib to recognize it to be a ship, but it looked nothing like Zim's Voot cruiser. Bigger, and colored a dark hue.  
  
"Kith!" he yelled into the microphone. "Something's crashing in the park, meet me there!" He ordered the mike away and ran down the street, where a thirty-foot thing had just left a crater in the soft wet dirt. He could feel the earth shaking under his legs; land jumped up to meet his feet, and shook his thigh muscles jarringly. He saw, out of the corner of his eye, Kith and Zim running towards him from an adjoining street, but didn't slow down.  
  
When he reached the park, he was out of breath and clutching his side in pain. There was a wide gash in the vegetation, clearly showing where the UFO had skidded to a stop. He pulled out his mechs, berating himself for forgetting them and ran into the wreckage.  
  
A pair of beguiling violet eyes watched cautiously from the undergrowth of ferns. They saw the small creature run up to the wreckage of its ship, and nervously shifted in the leaves. The creature examining the ship looked up sharply, and the thing in the foliage tensed, bruised and ruined muscles tightening painfully under a charred uniform. The eyes that met Dib's were filled with pain and sadness, even as the body surrounding them changed to match his. Then she was just too tired to continue, and blacked out.  
  
Dib stared tersely into the ferns under the oak trees. Something was in there, something alive and hopefully not very dangerous. He turned to Zim and Kith, who were running up behind him and shushed them with a gesture.  
  
"I think whatever was in the ship is over there," he whispered, pointing. "Zim, have you ever seen this kind of ship before?"  
  
The Irkan shook his head. "I've heard of them, yes, but never seen one. They are normally very elusive and skilled pilots. Odd that one should crash here, where there would be two-eh, three aliens to intercept it."  
  
"Yeah, but what is it?" Dib asked nervously.  
  
Kith was examining the shattered cockpit of the ship. The blue metals were twisted and charred, and the pectoral fins of the ship, each easily ten feet long, were scratched and dented. "This is a Dalzorian ship," she said finally. "Observe the controls here--" she pointed into the wreckage, "and the lack of a bipedal seating arrangement. The controls are obviously crafted for someone with talons and an opposable thumb, and Dalzorians are quadrupedal, meaning four-legged, and therefore need no chair."  
  
"I was going to say that," Zim scoffed. "And all of that is obvious. But here's the-what's the term? Here's the kicker: Where is the pilot? And don't Dalzorians travel in pairs?"  
  
"I saw something over there," Dib said, pointing. "But it looked away, and I lost it."  
  
Zim pulled out a plasma ray from his pod and held it at the ready. On silent mechs he crept over to the ferns and pushed them aside. Silently he waved for Kith and Dib to come over and see this.  
  
When they reached the pale-faced Zim, Dib's hearts froze momentarily. Lying comatose in the bushes was a duplicate of himself.  
  
Well, that certainly took a while. Okay, as of posting this chapter I have ten reviews. That isn't enough, people! 


	9. Crazy Things and Dragon Wings

Yay! Christmas is in one day! I wish my scanner worked.I could post my Xmas IZ fics for you all! But I can't, so stop whining.  
  
~~ Means telepathy ~~  
  
// Means personal thought //  
  
Dib drew in a sharp breath. The person lying in the ground was an exact replica of himself. Down to the scar on his chin. Except for the fact that Dib was standing up and gasping for breath, and the clone was passed out in a clump of ferns, there were no differences.  
  
Kith touched his shoulder. "Dib, don't panic. This is a shape-shifter, a doppelganger. It's not you."  
  
He snorted weakly and brushed her hand away. "Of course it's not! Just a shaky experience, seeing yourself face down in the shrubs.like an omen of some sort of evil intent."  
  
The Dib-clone stirred and moaned.  
  
Dib shook his head and wiped an eye. "Okay, we need to get her to our base, where we can monitor her life signs and help her heal."  
  
Zim cocked an eye contemptuously. "Her?"  
  
Dib shrugged. "Call it human intuition. She feels feminine."  
  
Kith's Voot appeared in the clearing, with a compartment in the back unfolding into a stretcher. "Let's get her onto this," she said hurriedly.  
  
"What's the rush?"  
  
She pointed at the sky. "The Voot's sensors way it's going to rain in about half an hour. Frankly, I don't want to push it any more than we already are."  
  
"I see."  
  
They each grabbed a limb of the clone and managed to drape her on the stretcher. Kith and Dib piled into the front seat, and Zim called his tow- Voot to come to the scene.  
  
When they all arrived at Kith's base, the clouds were just opening up with their devastatingly wet rain. The roof was just closing over the rescue Voot when the first drops hit. The clone was beginning to bleed through the copied Dib-clothes, a strange blue color.  
  
"Come on!" said Dib angrily. "I don't want to lose this chance to investigate this alien!"  
  
Zim and Kith stared at him.  
  
"Oh yeah.." He blushed. "Oops.."  
  
They called on the computer's services to get the clone down to the lab, and Kith and Zim spent fifteen minutes arguing about what to do with her.  
  
"It's just a Dalzorian," Zim grumbled. "I say we just wait to see if it wakes up at all, then kick it out of the base."  
  
Kith slapped him on the arm. "We can't do that!" she frowned at the comatose clone lying on the table across the lab. "Dalzorians are psychics. And they hold grudges until you're dead and gone, and then they take it out on your predecessors. If we turn it out now, then we're as good as forever doomed."  
  
Dib bit his knuckles thoughtfully. "'It' is a female, you know."  
  
"Hm?" The two other Irkans turned to him again. "Once again, how do you know?"  
  
He shrugged. "I just got a very feminine image from her before she passed out."  
  
"That seems like it would make sen-"  
  
The computer interrupted them. "Subject is waking up."  
  
The Dalzorian sat up and groaned, rubbing her eyes. Her form shifted subconsciously to a scaly Dib-looking thing. She looked down at herself, grimaced, and shifted to a small dragon form, about ten feet long. Dib gaped, and Zim jumped behind Kith.  
  
A tiny 'eep' escaped from Dib's mouth. The Dalzorian spun her head around to face the Irkan trio. Her violet eyes grew wide, and her mouth split open to reveal long, needle-sharp teeth.  
  
The Irkans jumped behind the couch, wailing mightily.  
  
"It's gonna kill us! Where's the fire extinguisher!?!" Dib screamed.  
  
Zim glanced over at him, fear and confusion all over his face. "A what?!"  
  
"Dragons breathe fire and..never mind." Dib peeked over the edge of the couch to find the dragon, but to his amazement, there wasn't one. Instead, another Irkan sat on the table, swinging her legs happily. Slowly, carefully, Dib stood up, making sure his movements were slow and unthreatening. The new Irkan cocked her head to one side, and studied Dib. Slowly the shape of her head became a bit more angular, and her antennae lengthened ever so slightly. She said something in another language, something that sounded like a mixture of growls and clicks to Dib's antennae.  
  
He felt around behind the couch and pulled up Kith and Zim by the collars. "Look at her.she shape-shifts to fit in.do you know what she said?"  
  
Zim frowned and pushed a combination of buttons on his pod. He listened to the sequence of noises, and turned to the new Irkan. He opened his mouth and issues forth an incomprehensible stream of the stranger's language. Her face brightened and she spurted out another long paragraph.  
  
Dib frowned again. Kith, seeing the expression on frustration on his face, showed him how to turn on his translator. The random babble turned into an understandable sentence.  
  
"-and then I accidentally fell asleep, and was caught in this planet's gravitational field. It was to late to fire the auxiliary rockets and escape, so I figured I should just land and take off again, but I came into gravity upside down, and lost control..hi." She waved at Dib. "Nice to meet you."  
  
He waved feebly. "Hi."  
  
She grinned. "Did I, uh.hit you.when I crashed? Sorry about that."  
  
"No, you didn't hit me.who are you?"  
  
She smiled and jumped off the table. "Well, it was nice to meet you. I really should get back to my ship now; bye!"  
  
"Come on!" protested Dib. "We're just trying to help! Don't leave yet, your head is bleeding."  
  
She looked up at her head, or tried to. Seeing as how she was kind of attached to it, she managed to fall over backwards instead. She reached up and patted her forehead. Her hand came away moist and bluish. "Huh. Imagine that..you wouldn't happen to have a wet towel, would you?"  
  
At the mention of water, all three Irkans twitched and took a step back. The Dalzorian's eyes widened. "Oh! I get it! You're all Irkans! Wow, I've heard of you. A lot shorter than I thought you were."  
  
Zim snorted.  
  
The stranger grinned and extended her hand to him. "Hi, I'm Gaeldrisan. Gaeldrisan DarkWings. Nice to meet you, probably. Who are you?"  
  
"I am Invader Zim, Irkan Invader Elite." Kith snorted back a laugh.  
  
"Oh. Invader, huh? I don't like Invaders. Too bent on.oh, what's the word? Too bent on invading things. You almost got Dalzor, but I guess you're not that advanced yet. No biggie. So who won the game last week?"  
  
Dib stared openly at Gaeldrisan, and leaned over to Kith. "What is this thing smoking?"  
  
She shrugged in answer. "Dalzorians are normally pretty peaceful and calm. Sometimes though, there are more wild individuals." She gestured over to the Dalzorian, who was in the process of examining Zim's computer board, while he glowered openly at her and clenched his fist.  
  
"Oh, you can call me Gally, by the way. Do you know where I can find titanium on this planet? I need some of that. And maybe you can help me find some fuel for my ship. Do this planet's inhabitants know about starball power yet? Wow, what's that?" she finished, pointing at Gir.  
  
"Hi lady!" he screeched, hugging her leg. "You like mooses, yes? I got a moose. It loooves you!"  
  
Gally's eyes widened. "Aww! It's so sickeningly cute! Please make it let go of my leg.." She pushed at the SIR stuck to her leg and looked at Zim imploringly.  
  
"Gir!" he barked. "Get off. You have no idea where that's been!"  
  
Gir looked sadly at his master and let go of Gally's leg. "But the moose luuuuuvs youuu."  
  
Gally took a step to the left, away from the SIR. "Ahh.thanks.. I think.." She smiled at Zim, and then suddenly grimaced in pain. Her hand flew to her side, where dark blue fluid, obviously blood, was seeping through the duplicate invader's uniform.  
  
Kith frowned. "You're in bad shape. We need to stop that bleeding; you lost a lot on the way over here."  
  
The Dalzorian feigned a casual wave. "No, it's.really nothing, I assure you. I've had.far worse wounds before. I lost a heart once." She swayed where she was standing, and clutched at the table behind her for support. Dib moved so he could catch her if she fell.  
  
"How many hearts do you have, anyway?" he asked curiously.  
  
"One."  
  
"But you said-" he broke off, trying to assimilate her words.  
  
"I'm supposed to have two. The healers had to spend.a week making the healthy heart strong enough to support me. I can't over exert myself though.like I did in that crash." She grimaced again, and the pale green skin of her face got even whiter. "Hm.all of a sudden, I don't.feel so good.." Her eyes fluttered, and Dib moved swiftly to break her fall.  
  
"Hey! Are you okay?" he shouted. She didn't respond. Dib felt for a pulse in her neck; it was there, but it was erratic and faint.  
  
More of the blue blood was seeping onto the floor now, staining the hem of Dib's coat.  
  
"Computer!" Zim demanded. "Get sufficient medical supplies to operate on a severely bleeding Dalzorian female. And, uh.bring a mop."  
  
"Sir."  
  
Strong cables swung down from the ceiling and lifted the sodden heap of Dalzorian onto a medical table. More cables dropped sterile scrubs onto Kith, Zim, and Dib, and bright lights focused on them.  
  
Dib cocked his head. "Is there theme music coming from somewhere? I could swear I heard that tune on General Hospital last week."  
  
Zim shrugged. "I stopped questioning the computer months ago." He pulled the mask over his mouth and leaned over the comatose Gally.  
  
"Scalpel."  
  
Kith handed him the surgical knife, which he used to cut away the tough fabric.  
  
"Sponge."  
  
She dabbed at the bloody surface around the wound with a strip of gauze.  
  
"Really sharp pokey needle thing."  
  
Dib found the desired implement, and stared in fascination as Zim deftly and almost calmly stitched up the rather horrifying wound in Gally's side. For half a second, he saw himself in Zim's place, wielding a scalpel over the unconscious Irkan. Then he looked down at his own arm, flecked a little bit with the blue blood, but otherwise just as green as Zim or Kith. He shook his head and went back to watching the operation.  
  
About twenty five minutes later, they had finished stitching up the numerous gashes all over Gally and were relaxing upstairs.  
  
"I just don't see how she could have gotten so many cuts and scrapes when she crashed!" complained Kith. "There were just too many deep wounds for a crash like that.and a lot of them were lined up, like claw marks. That can't be a coincidence."  
  
Dib shrugged and sipped a Joosh Box. "So? She's resting now, and what matters is that we have another ally in this mess. I guess we could learn lots about her species, if she wants to talk.."  
  
"I'll talk."  
  
Dib choked on his Joosh and turned around, wiping the blue liquid on his sleeve. Gaeldrisan stood in the doorway, covered in bandages and looking tired but content.  
  
"What do you want to know?" She settled down onto the couch between Kith and Zim, wincing a bit at the cuts. "As long as you don't ask about our military, you can have whatever information you want." She flashed a big grin.  
  
Dib swallowed nervously. "Can I get, um.a notepad?"  
  
She nodded and took a sip from Zim's Joosh. He scowled and snatched it back.  
  
Dib ran into the kitchen and rummaged through the utility drawer. "C'mon, where is that stupid no-oh. Here it is." He grabbed a pen and ran back to the sitting room.  
  
Gally was illustrating with her hands something about how the pectoral wings on her ship worked, while Kith and Zim followed her every word. She looked up when Dib came in. "So! What's first?"  
  
He grinned and raised his pen to the paper. "First of all.."  
  
He paused in mid thought. Here's my big chance, he thought, and I don't know what to say. "Ah! First off, what do you look like in your...uh.native form?"  
  
She shrugged. "I have wings, and scales, and four legs. The forelegs can be used for walking, holding, eating, fighting..be more specific."  
  
"Why don't you just show him then," muttered Zim. "You can see his foolish human mind cannot compute what you are saying."  
  
Gally looked at Zim, and then to Dib. He nodded vigorously. "Please show me!"  
  
She shrugged again and stood up. While three pairs of eyes followed her, she opened the front door and stepped outside. When none of them made a move to follow her, she popped her head back inside and said, "Are you coming?"  
  
"Wait!" yelled Dib. "You can't do that outsi.." he faltered mid-sentence as his eyes fell upon what stood before him.  
  
A magnificent creature posed in front of him, something resembling the dragons of olden times, but sleeker, thinner cut. Moonlight glanced off of polished scales, each one reflecting back the pale brilliance of the stars. Her head, which was easily six feet above Dib's head, was slim and intelligent. Multi-colored, faceted eyes blinked at him calmly. One of them was the color of Irish grass, brilliant and vivid green. The other was a deep violet the color of a cloudy night.  
  
~~Does this answer your questions, child?~~  
  
Dib stepped back. "You're..you're using telepathy. How?"  
  
She tossed her head and laughed. Behind him, Dib heard Zim chuckle, but couldn't look away from the paranormal jackpot in front of him.  
  
~~How else would I talk? These make it quite hopeless.~~ She bared her fangs at him.  
  
He gulped and took a deep breath. "Yes, I can see how that would be a bit of a problem.. Can I see your wings?"  
  
Her eyes smiled at him, and the great wings slowly unfurled. Moon and starlight caught in the expanse of leathery flesh, lighting the membrane ethereally and making them glow. Dib's breath caught in his throat, and he blinked hard, trying to disguise the look of longing at the sight of those wings.  
  
//If I could have those wings.if I could fly..//  
  
She cocked her head to one side, a gesture that he recognized to be common for her, and tensed her legs.  
  
~~Stand back, Dib.~~  
  
She swept her wings forward, and leapt into the air. Dib was knocked back by the gust of wind her takeoff created. Frantically he searched the sky.  
  
Something snatched the back of his tunic. For one brief second, a primal terror filled him, and he thrashed in the air. The next, the ground was rushing at him, jumping back just as quickly. He craned his neck to look back.  
  
A gnarled black talon clutched the back of his shirt. Swinging next to him, in much the same fashion, was Zim. He looked rather grumpy from the whole thing.  
  
Kith leaned over Gally's neck, beaming. "Isn't this great?" she yelled. "I just love flying!" slowly she stood up between Gally's wing muscles, clinging to the broad neck for support. Then, as the mighty wings swept down, she jumped off the back and flipped down behind them.  
  
"KITH!!" shouted Dib. "Kith!"  
  
Zim was looking around in terror, horrified, expecting to see his comrade splat on the ground. Instead, another dragon smaller than Gally, rose to meet them.  
  
~~Calm down, Zim. I'll explain later.~~  
  
He glared and crossed his arms.  
  
All of a sudden a shot rang through the air. Gally roared in pain and surprise, and let go of both Zim and Dib.  
  
They screamed as they plummeted to the ground, which was rapidly jumping up to meet them.  
  
Okay, that's a really crappy place to leave off, but so what? It's late. I'm tired. I need my sleep, cuz tomorrow is Christmas eve. Besides, it's my fic, and I don't really care who says what. Although, if you have the audacity to flame this fic, bear this friendly threat in mind-I will hurt you. ^^ Okay, that's all for right now. I've got lots of ideas for this fic, so I'll try to hurry up and post more. Yeah, and thanks again to Peorth, who was the winner of my little contest. E-mail me with the answer to this question-Would you rather throw punch or potato salad at Red or Purple? And can they throw you out of an airlock? ^^ K, let me know. Those questions apply only to Peorth-san, by the way.  
  
Something for everyone else to answer though-I'm not sure who I should pair with who. Or if I should at all. Maybe I should bring Kami into the fic? Help me answer these questions, and I'll put in some extra work on my other fics too. ^^ Gods know I haven't done that for a while..  
  
Last thing. The whole scene with the wings? I know that was sappy, but having wings is the one thing I would change about myself if I could. Huge black feathered wings..so that's why it's so mushy. I would kill someone to fly. Or maybe not. I just want wings really really bad. If any of you becomes a geneticist, remember that "Gaeldrisan wanted wings." Okay, bye now. 


	10. It's Bigger Than A Bedbug

Hola! Okay, things get a bit insane here. My twisted mind can't stop coming up with monsters, so I'm letting some of that out in this chap. Hey! Know what's even better? I just typed that entire sentence without looking at the keyboard!  
  
Kasakka: Oh yeah, you've got real skills.. *rolls her eyes* Eh, hush. Enjoy my fic! I just realized I haven't put in a disclaimer in in a bazillion chapters. So here goes. I don't own Invader Zim. I own Kith, Gaeldrisan, the Kalack, and two packages of instant Udon noodles. Mmm..that's breakfast. Good stuff.  
  
And now, a word from our sponsor, a random hospital somewhere.  
  
Kids, don't be stupid like the author of this story. She was making a model and sliced her knee open with a razor blade. Please don't be stupid. We have more important things to do than give people stitches for being stupid. Besides, we don't like you. Thank you, and enjoy the show.  
  
  
  
  
  
Dib felt the fabric of his tunic catch painfully around his throat, momentarily cutting off his air. He gagged and gasped for air.  
  
Air rushed past him at a furious pace, stinging his eyes and making them water painfully. Blearily and at the edge of his peripheral vision, he glimpsed Zim in a similar predicament. Something was holding them, he realized, even as the mad rush of air began to slow. He looked up and grinned weakly. "Hi Kith," he croaked.  
  
Kith had a talon-filled fist clenched around the boys' tunics. She flapped madly, trying to hold them up. The ground was still coming up at them, but at a far more bearable speed.  
  
Something roared in Dib's ear, and he craned his head to see Gaeldrisan still falling as a dragon. One of the great wings was shredded and trailing a spatter of blood. The other wing was flapping as hard as Kith's, but a one winged dragon can't fly, and Gally was pin-wheeling to the ground. She crashed below the tree line, and he lost sight of her. A moment later, Kith awkwardly back-winged and landed on her hind legs, depositing Zim and Dib on the ground and immediately shifting to Irkan.  
  
For half a minute the three of them lay on the ground, gasping and overcoming the adrenaline rushes coursing through them.  
  
Finally Zim managed to sit up. "Who DARED to shoot down the MIGHTY Zim?! They shall PAY for this! Oh, how they will pay!"  
  
Dib rolled his eyes and stood up, bracing himself against a tree. "Wow.Kith, we owe you big time. I don't even want to think about what would have happened if you hadn't caught us."  
  
Zim nodded grudgingly. "Yes.thank you.."  
  
Kith smirked and patted his head. He snorted and jerked away.  
  
"You know," she said, grinning widely, "You DID have your pods, of course.but I'm sure you knew that."  
  
Zim turned a nice dark green. "Of course I knew! I.there was a bug in my mouth. I, uh.I couldn't talk."  
  
"Uh-huh."  
  
Dib shushed them and cocked his ear. "Do you hear that?" he whispered. "Over there?" he gestured in a northerly direction.  
  
Zim frowned and listened intently. "What? I hear nothing."  
  
Kith listened too. "Yeah, me nei-hey! I think I do.what is it? Oh no-"  
  
Zim's frowned deepened. "That Dalzorian, no? Whiner."  
  
Dib shot him a glare and listened again. "No, that sounds like a cry of.I dunno, not pain. Let's go help her."  
  
Zim glared and picked at his glove. "She needs no help. Let her find her own way home."  
  
Dib set his jaw and pushed his way through the trees in the direction of the cries. Kith glanced at Zim, shrugged, and walked after him.  
  
Zim folded his arms and glared at the bushes through which they had left. "They'll be back," he told himself out loud. "Yes, any minute now, they'll be back."  
  
He waited another minute or so and ran after them.  
  
(A/N: Whee! Switching POVs!)  
  
((Zim's POV))  
  
After he caught up with them, Zim took the lead from Dib. The human hybrid rolled his eyes, but allowed the Irkan to lead them.  
  
After a moment, Zim stopped, concern written on his face.  
  
Dib almost ran into him, and let out an exasperated snort. "What was that for? I don't hear anything."  
  
Zim glared coldly at his once-time adversary. "That is why I stopped in the first place, Dib-worm. Either she has fixed the problem, or something has.silenced her."  
  
Dib's eyes widened. "Oh."  
  
Zim took off at a dead run through the trees. "Dragon! Dragon, answer me!"  
  
Kith and Dib shot after him. "Zim!" Kith yelled. "Zim, wait!"  
  
Zim barreled heedlessly through the bushy undergrowth of shrubs and pine needles, with Kith and Dib in close pursuit. Something grunted in the greenery to the right, so he changed course and kept running.  
  
Suddenly Zim burst through a particularly thick wall of trees and tripped.  
  
"Oww." he growled. "Stupid tree will pay.." Then he looked up and forgot his vengeance.  
  
Two creatures were in the clearing. One of them, obviously Gaeldrisan, was halfway between Dalzorian and Irkan form, tied to a tree, and babbling incomprehensibly. The other, a hulking monster that looked like a walking salad shooter, was grinning at Zim from a fang filled mouth-not quite the welcome the Irkan wanted to receive.  
  
((A/N: Okay, if any of you have read The Animorphs series, this thing looks a lot like a Hork Bjar. Only scarier. And far more spiky.))  
  
The Salad Shooter sauntered lazily up to Zim.  
  
"So," it said in a deep gravely voice. "I see the Irkan plague has finally reached Earth. Too bad for them; I don't like sharing my territory."  
  
Zim gulped, glared, and slowly pulled himself up. "This is not YOUR territory! Zim has landed here FIRST!"  
  
Dib and Kith chose this moment to come crashing up behind Zim. "Hey!" yelled Dib. "Where'd you run off tooo...oh, fallen gods, what the hell is that?!"  
  
Kith drew a sharp intake of breath. "I know what you are!" she accused the thing, pointing a shaky finger at it's sly face. "You're a Kalack! What are you doing on Earth?!"  
  
The Kalack smirked again and gestured airily at Gally, who was still holding random conversations with herself. "This piece of Dalzorian filth was being kind enough to give me a ride to the local penitentiary.but I realized I really didn't want to spend the rest of eternity there. So I got out of the weak restraints. And crashed the ship. It was astoundingly easy to overwhelm the newest rookie law officer."  
  
"But George!" Gally exclaimed. "You cannot play with that! It's charged with high currents of pinto power!"  
  
"Zim!" Dib said suddenly. "When we were stitching up gaeldrisan, she had what looked like-"  
  
"These?" The Kalack held up a fist, bristling with razor sharp claws. "Yes, evolution smiled upon my people when it equipped us with these. Made it easier than you would think for us to get anything we ever wanted."  
  
Dib broke in. "But why can't you just learn to live here, on Earth, without being so.." He broke off.  
  
"So mean!" Kith finished for him. "I mean, I know the Kalack aren't very nice people in general, but you could just as easily live a nice life without interfering with us."  
  
The Kalack paused thoughtfully. "You know, I probably could make a nice living on this planet. Of course.." And his eyes hardened with barely suppressed evil. "It would be so much easier.and relaxing.if I just killed you all first. Then I could run this asteroid as I please."  
  
"MILLIONS OF PEEEAACHES!!" Gally sang suddenly.  
  
The Kalack rolled his eyes and took a step towards her. "First, please wait patiently while I shut her up first." Then, before any of them could react, it drove its fist into the invalid's face. Her head flopped limply to the side, and lay still.  
  
Kith shifted smoothly into her draconian form. ~~You have made a stupid choice to oppose the might of the Irkan Empire, Kalack. ~~  
  
"Yes, I can see where the entire Empire would be a problem," it mused. "But all I see is a couple of Invaders."  
  
It lashed out at Kith with its tail with frightening speed. Swiftly she dodged, and clamped down on the attacking limb with her sharp teeth. The Kalack roared in fury and pain, and tore itself away from her.  
  
Dib yanked Zim out of the way of the fighters and dragged him over to Gally, who was still comatose. Zim pulled a knife out of his pod and slashed at the knots tied cruelly tight around her wrists and ankles. Once she was free, Dib lifted her onto his shoulders and pulled her to a safer place.  
  
Meanwhile, the two titans continued to clash in a whirling battle of teeth and shadows. Suddenly, Kith clamped her teeth down on the Kalack's wrist, effectively severing the hand with a jarring crunch. It howled and backed away, cradling the oozing stump.  
  
((A/N: Fun image, ne?))  
  
"This isn't the end of it, Irkan abomination!" it spat at her. "I will come back, and kill you in your sleep! You will not hinder me! As awfully cliched as it is, I'll be back!" With that, it melted into the shadows and disappeared.  
  
Zim poked his head out from behind a thick, gnarled tree. "Ha! Just try it, Scissor Head! Our might is awesome! The Irkans are undefeatable!" He struck a triumphant pose.  
  
Kith rolled her eyes and shifted back to Irkan. "And where was all your might when I was doing all the fighting, Zim?" she sneered.  
  
He ignored the sarcasm in her voice. "Fool! You had a very good handle on the situation. I would not interrupt."  
  
She sighed heavily and plopped on the ground. "Gee, thanks."  
  
Dib dragged Gally over to the group. "Hey, not to be a party pooper or anything, but can we go home now? That thing isn't dead, and I'm kinda funned out."  
  
Zim brought the microphone-thing out of his pod. "Gir, I need you, Hex, and MiKi to come get us."  
  
"Okee dokee!" The SIR on the other end of the line giggled crazily before hanging up.  
  
The little group sat in a tense silence while they waited for the SIRs to come pick them up. They didn't say much; no one was in a particularly good mood.  
  
Finally, the SIRs arrived, carrying between them an improvised stretcher made from pizza boxes and duct tape. After positioning Gally on it, the three Irkans hopped aboard their SIRs and gave the command to go back to the base.  
  
As the dilapidated trio, plus an invalid, rose into the sky, something rustled in the brush behind them.  
  
A pair of eyes watched them go. A reptilian tongue snaked out and lapped up the blood collecting in a pool.  
  
"Yes. Sleep well. You will die all the easier."  
  
  
  
Okay, so that was a bit macabre. Maybe it's time to consider changing the rating. Besides, if you guys tell me whom you'd like to see coupled up with whom, maybe I can add some romance to this thing. Here are the possible contenders: Dib, Zim, Kith, Gally, Purple, and Kami. Yes, Kami, I'm going to add you to my story. You are surprised, no? Let me know if you don't want to join. Although I doubt that will be a problem.  
  
Also, do check out my other fics. I'm putting in lots of work on a lot of them, so check them all for updates. 


	11. Invader Dib

None of the Irkans slept very well that night. There's something about a walking wall of bladed muscle on a killing spree that tends to keep you awake. The only person who did seem to get a good night's sleep was Gaeldrisan, the Dalzorian. Of course, she was in serious critical condition, so it may have been all for the better of it.  
  
On Monday morning everyone met in Kith's laboratory, bleary eyed and drowsy. Kith had a pot of Laffy Caffeine on the stove, which quickly disappeared.  
  
"I think I'll stay here today," Dib mumbled, prying his eyes open. "Someone should make sure 'Peaches' over there doesn't die on us."  
  
Zim raised an 'eyebrow.' "You would incur the wrath of Bitters to monitor the Dalzor stink-beast? I knew you to be insane, but THIS-"  
  
Kith nodded. "We'll cover for you. Remember, if a transmission comes in, let the machine pick it up. I uh...i haven't told Red or Purple yet...about your little surgery.." she trailed off. "Yeah. We gotta go now."  
  
Zim glared at Dib as he marched past him. "And don't think I'm not watching you, Dib worm. You may be less...um...you may be less ambitious in your paranormal studies, but one wrong move!" And here he held up a finger. "One wrong move and you will be meat fodder so fast you will-CLANG"  
  
Dib threw back his head and laughed, the kind that makes you feel genuinely good. "Looks like you should spend less time watching me, Zim, and more time watching where you're going."  
  
Kith hid a small smile as she helped the sputtering Zim to his feet. "Take care, Dib. And...watch out for the Kalack.." Kith and Zim disappeared into the elevator.  
  
***********************************  
  
Dib poured himself another mug of Laffy Caffeine and settled onto the couch in Kith's laboratory. Behind him, the monitors on Gally bleeped every now and then to let him know she wasn't quite dead yet.  
  
Sheesh...there was an alien dragon lying comatose on the table behind him. He was in the laboratory, unsupervised, of another alien. He had made peace with his enemy, however temporary. HE was genetically an alien. The enormity of the past week suddenly sank into Dib in that moment. He carelessly set down his coffee substitute and pulled off a glove. The sensation of the material sliding against his skin was so new, so intense; his hands were so much more receptive as an Irkan. The light fell on Dib's new fingers and brought out an almost scaly sheen to them.  
  
Dib sighed, suddenly very tired. Obviously the Caffeine drink wasn't having much of an effect on him today. He stood up and checked the monitors, and, satisfied, stretched out on the couch again.  
  
Just a quick nap..  
  
*****************************  
  
Mrs. Bitters snaked over to Dib's desk and sniffed searchingly.  
  
"Where is Dib today?" she snarled. "Has he finally been sent to the Crazy House? Who knows where he is?"  
  
"Off chasing vampires again, I'll bet," muttered a student in the back of the room. The class laughed.  
  
Kith snorted angrily and glared around the room. Zim, who was laughing along with the rest of the kids, unfortunately caught the brunt of her gaze. He visibly flinched and raised his hand.  
  
"What is it, Zim?" rasped Mrs. Bitters.  
  
"The Dib-worm is staying home today," Zim said loftily. "For...medical purposes."  
  
Mrs. Bitters slid over and stared into Zim's face. "Skipping skool for medical purposes? What's the point of that? You're all doomed anyway," she spat at the class.  
  
"Here." A pile of books fell out of the ceiling and onto Zim's desk, which groaned alarmingly. "Since you two are SUCH good friends, you can take his homework to him."  
  
Zim seethed at this remark, but stuffed the books into his knapsack anyway.  
  
"Now open your textbooks to page 956. Today we're going to study history's most dangerous creatures, and how effective they are at killing each other off."  
  
*****************************  
  
The shadow moved stealthily from treetop to treetop, never rustling anything more than a leaf or twig. Animals fell silent as it passed, and chattered urgently of dangers avoided when it was gone.  
  
The Kalack was following a trail this day. Its injured stump of an arm was smeared with mud and was cradled tightly to its side. The snapping turtle head wove from one side to the other, sniffing for the scents of its prey. Muscles bunched in anticipation of a kill.  
  
A dog barked as the Kalack swept over it. It wasn't a ferocious dog, although I'm sure it thought it was ferocious. This dog was just one of those freakin' little Chihuahua things that run up and do horrible, unspeakable things to you leg.  
  
The Kalack stopped its movement and peered down at the dog. Too late, Mr. Barky realized his mistake. A strangled yelp quickly dissipated in the still afternoon. (It's okay, children, that was only an animatronic dog. The Kalack still ate it, though. ^^)  
  
************************************  
  
Beep..Beep..Beep.."Incoming Transmission."  
  
Dib shot up. Adrenaline flooded his mind, made him jumpy and tense. Quickly he jumped up and ran to the main computer screen. A green light blipped on one of the buttons. Dib hastily pushed it in his sleep-glazed mind.  
  
The Tallest appeared on the screen, looking perplexed and not a little put out at the delay.  
  
"Zim?" Red stuck his face way up to the monitor. "Where's Kith? Where's that big-head boy bodyguard guy? Who the hell are you?" This last part was directed at Dib, who stood dumbly in front of the keyboard console.  
  
Purple squinted and studied him closely. "Yeah, who are you? Not that I pay attention to short people, but I've never seen you before. And why are you in Zim's base?"  
  
Red's eyes widened and he backed up a step. "Hey Pur, this guy ISN'T short! In fact, he's pretty damn tall! Taller than that one guy..with the big head..Spleen. Wow."  
  
"Then why is he over on Earth with Zim?" Pur said, confused.  
  
Red shrugged. "I dunno. He can just wait until we get to Earth on the Massive to pick up Kith. Then I guess he can come back with us and apply for Invader status."  
  
Dib's eyes bugged out. "In-Invader status?!"  
  
"Uh, yeah?" Red raised an eyebrow and gestured to Dib's height. "Unless you WANT to stay here with Zim, that is.." He dissolved into a fit of laughter, and Pur joined in. finally, when they had managed to compose themselves, Red wiped an eye and looked back at Dib, who sat there staring wide eyed at him. "So, yeah, if you see this boy with a big head, tell him he'd better not let anything happen to my sis. Later." The transmission blacked out.  
  
Dib looked around guiltily. If he remembered correctly, and he knew he did, the one thing he was NOT supposed to do was answer any transmissions. Which he just did.  
  
Suddenly exhausted again, Dib stumbled over to his arm chair and collapsed into it. Too much excitement for one day....and it was still only 10:30.  
  
******************************  
  
Alrighty, so sorry for making y'all wait so long for this chapter. I just haven't been that keen on continuing much for a couple of months. I just got back from my second camping trip this summer, with about three more to come, so don't expect much from me. Review, please! 


	12. Wait, Whose Mom Died?

OHMIGAWD!! I'm actually updating! O.O The world is ending! Shee, and I left you guys with a cliffhanger the size of...of...of something really big, didn't I. Shame on meee....

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The Kalack lowered his head to the ground and inhaled slightly, stirring dead leaves and gutter refuge. He wasn't careful about hiding himself, although he was mostly concealed in a badly lit alleyway.  
  
He turned his head and followed the scent trail with his strong nose, searching for a track with his eyes. The street ended in a little cul de sac; it appeared that the trail led smack to the center of it. The fuel from those annoying little robots left a very clear residue in the air.  
  
Strong haunches propelled the Kalack to the rooftops next to him, and he made his way over the green house at the end of the street with growing anticipation. The hunt, the kill, and the inevitable feast at the end...he smiled toothily to himself and scared the crap out of a pigeon, which actually scare pretty easily.  
  
The hulking form paused on the apex of the green roof, and surveyed the gnomes on the lawn. He thought for a moment, and then sprang off the roof, landing with one massive, clawed foot on two of the gnomes. A tail swept in a wide, vicious arc snapped another clean in half, and a fist shattered the fourth gnomes eyes. Then the lawn was clear of the threat, although a tree down the street sported cunning eyes, waiting, watching.

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

Dib woke up and raised his head, pulling up the pillow as well. He blinked and pulled it off, and wiped the drool from his cheek. Something was going to come to him, he knew, as soon as he woke up a little mor—  
  
There it was.  
  
"INVADER!?"  
  
Dib sat straight up and clutched his head. "They want to make me an INVADER!? I can't believe it; I'll be an accepted part of an alien society bent on the domination of...everyone else!"  
  
He paused, and turned that over in his head.  
  
"I don't really want to invade anything...I'd be a pretty big hypocrite if I took the opportunity, seeing as how I've always been so against Zim's invasion....well, that's obvious; Earth is my home! Oh man...I need to talk to Kith about this..."  
  
Dib hung his head and ran his hand over his antennae. A small beep reminded him of the Dalzorian slumbering behind him, and he got up to check everything over.  
  
Heart rate and blood pressure looked fine, he thought, even if he knew next to nothing of what was supposed to be normal. Gally sported a massive bruise covering most of her left cheek, and the skin over her left shoulder looked like it had been attacked by a maniacal cheese grater. It had stopped bleeding though, he noticed, and would probably heal alright.  
  
"INTRUDER"  
  
Dib jumped as the lights flared red in the base.  
  
"INTRUDER"  
  
"Where is it?" he cried to the computer. "What's going on?"  
  
"GNOME FIELD HAS BEEN BREACHED"  
  
Dib flinched and ran to the nearest elevator.  
  
"Take me upstairs now!" The elevator shot to the house level and propelled Dib from the trash can in the living room. He ran to the window and peeked out, hearts beating wildly, and limbs shaking.  
  
"..."  
  
Dib's jaw dropped, and his limbs froze.  
  
The gnomes lay in pieces on the grass outside, tiny violent pieces. One of them had a massive hole punched through one eye; another had been broken off above the head. The other two were in shards in two deep footprints.  
  
With a wildly trembling hands, Dib reached for the communicator in his pod and dialed the Skool's number. The bored sounding secretary picked up.  
  
"I need to speak to Kith, in Miss Bitters' class...it's an emergency. And Zim too."

ooooooooooooooooooooooo

A lanky hall monitor knocked boldly on the door to Bitters' classroom.  
  
"Zim and Kith to the office; phone call."  
  
Bitters' hissed and swung her head round to the boy, then to Kith and Zim.  
  
"Go then! You're wasting my time. Take your books, do your homework or DIE!"  
  
Zim raised an eyebrow at Kith and marched out the door, holding it open for her. They arrived in the office, wanting to question each other and not wanting to do it in front of the hall monitor. The secretary, with her hands over the receiver, beckoned to Kith.  
  
"It's Dib, apparently. Wants to talk to you first."  
  
Kith blinked and took the phone.  
  
"H-hello?"  
  
"The Kalack knows where we are." Dib's voice sounded high and breathy.  
  
Kith dropped the phone, and fumbled to pick it up again. Zim's eyebrows skyrocketed, and he felt a twinge of nervousness in the depths of his belly.  
  
Kith finally got the phone back up to her face and spoke quietly into it.  
  
"What in the Massive happened?!....Oh gods...Are you serious? No!....Sure, right away...go down to the basement. Yes, we'll come home right now. Yes, I'll be careful. I said I'd be careful, Dib!"  
  
She handed the phone back to the secretary and screwed up her face in an extra anxious expression, a very easy task.  
  
"Our, uh, mother just died...We've got to go home now."  
  
The secretary's face never wavered as she marked this down in her notes, and shooed them out the door.  
  
Once outside, Zim rounded on Kith.  
  
"What on Irk is going on? Whose mother died?"  
  
She dragged him by his arm into a run.  
  
"The Kalack attacked the house. He destroyed the gnomes, but left the rest untouched. Dib says it looks like he did it for a show of strength, for terror tactics."  
  
Zim paled and scowled.  
  
"Stupid beast...Damn that Dalzorian for bringing it here!"  
  
Kith pinched his arm hard. "It's not her fault! Well, maybe it is, but she's not to be blamed! You saw how strong it was...if she's really the rookie, then I'm not surprised it overpowered her. We'll get rid of it and then throw the blame around."  
  
Zim nodded, and felt the spark of anger flare into rage at the Kalack.


	13. Okay, Who Saw It Coming?

Yay! And the plot swells! I own Zim no, just Kith. And Gally. And the Kalack too, I guess...and Zim. Wait, no, not Zim. Can I have Dib? Lookit him, he's all weak and skinny—no? Then who CAN I have? What, no one? How rude...T.T  
  
oooooooooooooooooooooooo  
  
Zim and Kith rounded the corner to their cul-de-sac at breakneck speed, which meant their sudden stop didn't work out too well, dumping the both of them on the asphalt. Scowling and glancing around with extreme annoyance and nervousness, they untangled their antennae and stood up.  
  
"..." Kith's wordless gasp summed the scene up.  
  
Zim knelt down by his shattered gnomes, at a loss as to how his defenses had...not defended. He rose to his feet and pulled Kith roughly inside.  
  
"Damn that creature..." he snarled. "This BEAST toys with us! ZIM will not be toyed with, like some sort of...toy! We must...plan." He arched his fingers and strode to the toilet in the kitchen. Kith followed, shaken but determined.  
  
Dib nearly jumped a foot when the elevator 'whooshed' the other Irkans down into the lab. He ran up to them, hearts in his throat.  
  
"Were you followed? Did you make it home alright?"  
  
Zim arched an eyebrow and stared at Dib as if he we some sort of toad, a very stupid toad. "The gnomes are definitely his handiwork, Dib-worm...I think he's a bit past following us at this point. And yes, the return home was uneventful." He glanced over to scan the monitors over Gally, and flopped down on one of his chairs.  
  
Kith immediately fell to one of the computers and began typing furiously. Dib sidled up to one side, to read from the screen.  
  
"I'm researching Kalack arrests and history right now," Kith explained. "The Dalzorians usually keep good records on who is brought in and when, and the Kalack are a race that gives them no small amount of trouble. There's often techniques listed on how the individual was caught, and how they reacted. It's very helpful for the officers, spread apart as they are."  
  
Dib stared in awe at the vast amounts of information scrolling at a fast pace down the monitor.  
  
"You say officers; are these...Dalzorians...the law in space?"  
  
Kith nodded distractedly.  
  
"They take care of the individuals and small crime rings. Irk is exempt, because of it's might, so they mark planets that aren't allowed to be colonized or invaded, and we take the ones that don't matter as much. In the event of, say, inter-planetary war, Irk and Dalzor act as arbitrators. We used to, actually, before the current Tallests came to power..."  
  
She sighed and rubbed one eye before continuing.  
  
"Red and Purple are so...careless, most of the time. I swear, the Massive could get hijacked out from under their curly fries and they'd not notice. Now Dalzor is the main law power, and Irk just kinda sits off to one side." Kith's antennae drooped and she turned her full attention back to the computer.  
  
Zim flinched and glared over at Kith.  
  
"Irk is not getting lax in its duties! The Tallest have not had the need to sit in as arbitrators ONCE since they began their reign...else the Irkan Empire would unleash MIGHT and DOOM upon the poor fools who defy us."  
  
Dib stared dully at Zim and cocked his head to one side.  
  
"Um. Speaking on invading...."  
  
Kith and Zim turned to look at him almost in the same movement.  
  
"You got a call today, while you were at Skool," Dib finished lamely.  
  
"WHAT? From who?!" Zim exploded from his seat. "You didn't answer it, did you? Foul Earth boy!"  
  
Dib blinked and rubbed where the bridge of his nose would be. "I was kind of muddles by sleep, mind...."  
  
Kith gaped and flicked one of Dib's antennae.  
  
"Who was it?"  
  
"It was...um...the Tallest...."  
  
Kith hiccupped and fell off of her chair. Zim, had he been human, would have been purple with rage. As it was, he was a dark, dark green, nearly blue, and shaking. Kith crawled to her feet, using Zim as a stabilizer, and clapped a hand over his mouth. She stared hard at Dib, and said quietly, with the barely suppressed rage of thunder, "Tell me EXACTLY what was said."  
  
Dib gulped and quailed under her intense stare. "They didn't recognize me...and...uhm...they offered to make me an Invader."  
  
Gir, Hex, and MiKi made little cricket chirps from the next room, and giggled quietly.  
  
Zim's rage left him completely, left him feeling like he'd just finished crying and throwing a temper tantrum....not that he ever had, of course. But he felt tired, and empty, felt as if he'd lost his lunch.  
  
Kith blinked slowly, then again, and took a deep breath.  
  
"They said you could apply...to be an Invader?"  
  
Dib nodded mutely, terrified.  
  
"And they didn't ask any questions about who you are, or why you're here?"  
  
He shook his head.  
  
"Red said...well, he didn't say anything about that. Just that...when the Massive got here, they'd take me back with them."  
  
Zim abruptly turned and walked to the elevator and went down. Kith stared after him, and bit her lip. Dib blinked stupidly at her, then at the elevator, and back.  
  
"What was that about?"  
  
Kith reached out slowly, and flicked him between the eyes.  
  
"Are you so blind?! You! Being made an Invader! Can you possibly see this from his point of view? He arch-rival for so long, being accepted where HE should have been accepted, and wasn't! Getting HIS title, HIS glory?"  
  
She suddenly sagged against Dib and rested her head on his front. He could feel his pulse light itself on fire.  
  
"I'm just so tired, Dib...I'm tired of feeling everyone's hurts, and I'm tired of running. I ran away from home, and I'm running from this stupid Kalack, and now I'm emotionally, physically, and mentally drained. I just want to go to sleep and forget it all. I hurt for Zim, and I'm angry because I hurt, and I don't want to care, and that makes me feel even worse." She looked up at him, and he was startled to find a misty little tear in one eye. "Do you understand? Caring for someone and not wanting to care about them?"  
  
Dib nodded quickly, then shook his head and gulped.  
  
"Wait—do you...do you care for Zim, then?"  
  
She blinked and laughed quietly, mirthlessly.  
  
"I do, because I've felt his mind. But I don't love him, no...I don't want to spend my life with him that way." She turned her face down and sighed deeply.  
  
"I want to be with you, Dib...."  
  
ooooooooooooooooooooooooo  
  
Gasp! Shriek! Squeal! Moose!  
  
Egads, you sunk my Scrabbleship! Romance, from me? The Blue Abomination? Holy monkey! 


	14. Maybe He Shouldn't Have Said That

Gally sat up slowly and blinked a film out of her eyes. The room was quite, but not empty. She soundlessly slipped her feet to the ground and peered around. The elevator was down, which meant someone was in the lower labs, and Kith and Dib were hugging in the corner.  
  
She blinked again and dropped behind the couch, adopting her Irkan body to walk on four legs. She wasn't entirely sure if they had meant for her to see that, so she was going to let them imagine she hadn't. Glancing back over her shoulder, she slipped into the elevator and went down.  
  
ooooooooooooooooo  
  
Kith raised her head to look at the elevator as it shifted. Maybe Zim was going to another level or something.... She sighed again, and leaned her head against Dib's chest again.  
  
oooooooooooooooo  
  
Gally crawled out of the elevator and onto the wall, clinging securely to the wires that covered the walls. She blinked in the relative dimness of this room; she could tell Zim was in here, but why the darkness? She made her way across the ceiling to right over Zim's head.  
  
He was slouched in his seat, illuminated by the red glow of the computer screen, and if he didn't look so forlorn he would have been very spooky indeed.  
  
She braced her feet (all four of them) against the wires and slid down the wall, coming to a stop just in front of and above him. He raised his gaze listlessly for a moment, then scowled and looked away.  
  
"Leave me alone, Dalzorian stink."  
  
Gally blinked, a wee bit taken aback, and hopped to the ground, regaining a normal Irkan posture. She rested her arms around the back of the chair and stared at Zim.  
  
"What's wrong, Zim? You don't look so good...." She shifted her face slightly, trying to catch his eyes again.  
  
He turned to her and narrowed his eyes dangerously.  
  
"There is nothing wrong with ZIM! What is wrong is EVERYTHING ELSE! The stupid TALLEST are what's wrong, and that foul Earth monkey DIB! Zim is perfectly fine! Now leave me alone!" He turned from Gally and folded his arms to sulk.  
  
The Dalzorian took a step back from the chair, a bit shocked and wounded by the outburst. By nature, her kind were very open and honest, and this WAS her first off planer mission, really, so her actual interaction with aliens had been very limited...except for the Kalack and all. She squared her shoulders and walked around to the other side of the chair, and grabbed Zim's elbows. He jerked backwards, not expecting the contact, nor used to it from anyone at all, and tried to pull away, growling evil Zim-babble at the bold alien.  
  
Gally leaned forward until her eyes were right in front of Zim's face, and spoke his name softly. He stopped struggling, and stared back at her, still boiling with a whole bunch of badness inside his gooey little self. She slowly released his arms, and he snatched them back to himself, nearly flinging himself off the chair in his haste to avoid being touched again.  
  
"Don't. Touch. Zim," he growled. Gally only stepped back from the chair and shifted her form back to her normal Dalzorian body. Zim blinked in confusion and leaned backwards as she lowered her rather large head towards him.  
  
"Zim, I can feel your hurt, and it hurts me too. So I'm offering to help, If you'll let me..." She cocked her head to one side questioningly.  
  
"Zim needs no one. Not your help, or anything. Get out of my lair." His rage at the recent events boiled over, and he leapt to his feet and scowled murderously at her confused expression. "Leave! Get out! YOU are what is wrong in my house!" He jabbed his finger towards the elevator, and relished the look on her face as she fled the room.  
  
Zim sighed and sank back into the chair, rubbing his eyes exhaustedly. Looking back, he didn't think she was even conscious when he had stormed out of the room. He slid off of the chair and paced around the room, feeling worse and more bitter every moment. Too much of an influence from Kith, and that Dib-worm...he was getting soft.  
  
"ARGH! Invaders do not care for anyone! ANYONE!" he raged at the computer screen, which very wisely said nothing.  
  
ooooooooooooooooo  
  
Gir giggled loudly as a dragon the size of a sheepdog raced past it and leapt through a window, sending shards everywhere.  
  
"It's raining hurt!" the little robot squealed.  
  
ooooooooooooooooo  
  
Dib and Kith were shocked from their gentle moment by a fierce bellow from Zim below, and the chilling sound of glass breaking above. Dib hastily drew away from Kith, rubbed the back of his head out of embarrassment, and ran for the elevator, followed closely by the smaller Irkan. He nearly hit his head flying out of the chute under the coffee table—it WAS built for Zim's height, not his—and immediately tripped over Gir, and immediately tripped Kith as she came out of the chute. They ended up sprawled on the floor, with Gir's little feet kicking madly as the deranged SIR shrieked in delight.  
  
"We's havin' a mongoose pile!" came the slightly muffled cries from under Dib.  
  
Dib waited for Kith to regain her footing, then used the SIR's head as leverage to help himself up.  
  
"What was that sound just now, Gir?" he asked, rapping on it's head with his knuckles. Gir stared blandly at him for a moment before smiling widely and hopping from foot to foot.  
  
"It was a little blue dog, goin' Whoosh!" He pantomimed a little creature running through the room and out the window.  
  
Dib frowned and turned to Kith, baffled. "A blue dog?"  
  
She frowned as well, and then gasped.  
  
"Dib...was the Dalzorian downstairs when we left?"  
  
They both ran to the window and peeked out.  
  
A spattering of blue blood was on some of the broken window, and in the grass outside, fresh with night's dew, they could quite clearly make out widely spaced clawed prints, little three-toed dragon feet running away from the house, and into the night.  
  
oooooooooooooooooooo  
  
Oh. My. Gods. I've made a soap opera! Does that mean I'll get more readers now? I guess we'll never know....unless you REVIEW! I'll sic horrible, nasty things on you if you don't... 


	15. Reverse Psychology and the Wild Hunt

You know, I really like my disclaimer from Chapter 13...just go back and read that one, and pretend it's here.   
  
ooooooooooooooooo  
  
Gally ran.  
  
Her heart was pounding in her chest, she had reopened some of the deeper wounds she'd received from the Kalack, and she didn't care. Now she was just running for the sake of being elsewhere. From the moment one scaled foot touched the ground, a nagging voice told her she'd been there too long, and then it lifted away for another step. On and on this went, until her chest was heaving and her muscles screamed profanities at her.  
  
She finally slowed to a stop, and her ragged breathing pounded loudly in her ears. He had been so angry...her finely tuned empathy was overwhelmed by his fury. He had practically been screaming directly into her brain, drowning her senses in terror and hurt. The terror had kept her going so far into this alien world, driving her far, far away from the seething Irkan.  
  
Acrid scents drifted past Gally's nose, reminding her of her precarious position. Alone, and in less-than-preferable condition...she gritted her teeth and turned back the way she had come. Like it or not, she _did_ need to get back to Zim's base, even if it did fill her with dread. Now that her adrenaline rush had worn off, she was feeling incredibly sore and tired, and the main flow of emotion had left. She still had a pesky hurt in her mind, though...and she couldn't place it. Something between guilt, and worry, and general unhappiness. She frowned as she trotted slowly back on her trail. This feeling was a new one, all right, and she already hated it.  
  
oooooooooooooooooooo  
  
A hulking silhouette houghed deep in its throat, hidden in the dense middle branches of the trees along the road, and smirked to itself in primordial pleasure. The hunt was about to begin, and he would again be the hunter of this most dangerous prey. The best kind of prey there was; all the better to bring glory to himself.  
  
oooooooooooooooooooo  
  
Zim slumped in his chair again, counting the clicks of the elevator as it drew down to his level. One gloved hand pointed to the door right as Kith burst through it, and on cue, he spun the chair around to face her. She carried a shard of glass in one hand, spattered with a dark blue liquid. His eyes narrowed and he arched his fingers together.  
  
"Well? You bother Zim. What do you want."  
  
Kith lobbed the glass at him and folded her arms.  
  
"I could ask the same of you...what the hell have you done this time?!"  
  
Zim fumbled for the shard and held it up to his face to inspect it. His antennae flinched, and he dropped it quickly.  
  
"Blood? From the Dalzorian?" he glanced up at Kith and raised an eyebrow.  
  
She nodded sourly. "We—I heard you yell, and then the window upstairs shattered. Do you know what this means, Zim? It means there is a Dalzorian running around the human city, trailing blood, while there is also a criminal and a murdering psycho loose! What in the name of Irk have you done?" Her tone carried a cold accusation, of one who knows damn well what is going on, and asks only to make the other person feel like an ass.  
  
It apparently worked very well.  
  
Zim's face paled to the point where he nearly resembled Dib's old skin color. Then it hardened.  
  
"Let the Dib-worm deal with it...He's the one trying to register as an Invader, isn't he? Let us see how HE handles this. Because obviously everyone trusts HIM so much more than they do ZIM...."  
  
Kith ground her teeth in frustration and clenched her fists, but took a deep breath and tried thinking about it from Zim's point of view. Yes, he had been badly shamed...he blamed it on Dib...how to fix this. She blinked and looked back at Zim, lofty and condescending.  
  
"I suppose, if you won't even try, then it _is _obvious who the better Invader is. I mean, how hard can it be to best a human in tracking down one Dalzorian? Imagine the glory Dib will get when he brings her back safe and sound..." she said, turning away from Zim with a disdainful wave of her hand. She realized with a small bit of smugness how well her plan worked, when she heard the small -snk- of Zim's spider legs unfolding.  
  
"ZIM shall bring the Dalzorian back, not that filth DIB! Computer, do not let the Dib leave the house..." He cackled and ran for the elevator. "Glory for ZIM!" Kith could hear him laughing as the elevator whooshed him up to the house level, and even out the door. She grinned and followed at a more sedate pace, even allowing herself a small chuckle. Victory for Kith.  
  
oooooooooooooooooo  
  
Gally had developed a painful stitch in her side, of course. What else would happen when she was out alone on a strange planet, with a dangerous criminal probably staring down at her from the tree line....She tossed her head back and scented the air nervously. Bad idea, to start thinking like that; now it looked like ALL of the trees were staring at her. She upped her pace a little bit, wishing she hadn't run _quite_ so far away.  
  
oooooooooooooooooo  
  
Yes, actually, at least one tree was watching her. A very mean, scaly tree, with a missing clawed hand. Wait, never mind, that's not the tree. Silly me.  
  
The Kalack moved stealthily through the trees until he was roughly a block or two ahead of the other alien. He dropped to the ground and sniffed out the trail she had left on her mad flight, and loosed his own scent marker over hers.  
  
((Or, for those nature geeks out there...he peed over it. Yes, aliens pee too.))  
  
That done, he backed himself into a thick bush directly in front of her path, and crouched down to wait. The wait was the best part, just about.  
  
oooooooooooooooooo  
  
Zim skittered out the door, and took a sighting on the tracks on the lawn. He lowered his black cloth mask, an idea borrowed from Dib, though he'd never admit it, and took off after the errant dragon, his mind filled with thoughts of praise and glory being heaped upon him by the shovelful. 


End file.
